Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?

19 October 2010, Tuesday

This was what I wrote on the morning of my birthday, but never got to complete it. Little that I know that the melancholy and despondency that I was feeling that morning was an ominous sign. I had a sense of foreboding that something terrible was going to happen, but had dismissed the feeling. It was my birthday, so I was supposed to be happy and rejoicing and be thankful to Allah for granting me another grace period. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of apprehension and dread.

16 October 2010, Saturday

"Sejuknya hati ini mendengar sayup2 bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang berkumandang di corong pembesar suara dari Surau As-Syakirin yang menghadap rumahku.

Terubat sedikit hati ini yang merasa sayu pada hari kelahiranku. Hari ini usiaku menjangkau 51 tahun. Aku tidak tahu mengapa pagi ini hatiku merasa amat syahdu. Malahan, air mata mengalir tanpa ku sedari.

Dengan jejeran air yang membasahi pipiku, fikiranku melayang lantas memikirkan bahawa sejak dua tahun yang lalu, aku telah menjadi anak yatim piatu setelah kehilangan ayahnda tercinta pada tanggal 12 Disember 2008. Aku menjadi anak yatim semasa ibu pergi meninggalkanku 10 tahun yang lalu pada 23 Ogos 2000.

Dan setahun yang lalu, dua hari sebelum umat Islam seronok menyambut lebaran, ibu mertuaku pula pergi meninggalkan kami menyambut panggilan Ilahi. Yang kini tinggal hanyalah ayah mertuaku yang telah dimamah usia, yang kini hanya duduk di kerusi roda tanpa banyak bicara.

Usianya yang melebihi 87 tahun telah mengurangkan daya ingatannya. Dia tidak lagi seperti dulu. Dia tidak lagi seceria bapa yang kukenali semasa awal perkahwinanku. Dia amat menyayangi anak-anaknya, menantu-menantunya dan cucu-cucunya. Kini, dia tidak lagi mengenali kami. Namun, sekali sekala, kami mendengar teriakannya memanggil nama suamiku (Amir) dan "Sayang", panggilan manjanya untuk arwah ibu mertuaku.

Malahan, dia langsung tidak menunjukkan sebarang rekasi semasa duduk di sebelah katil hospital ibu mertuaku tatkala ibu tenat dan nazak, meskipuun tangannya merangkul erat dan mengusap jari jemari ibu mertuaku. Semasa ibu mertuaku dikafankan dan sebelum ditutup mukanya buat kali terkahir, dia masih tidak mengetahui bahawa mayat yang terbujur kaku itu adalah isterinya, isteri yang amat dicintainya.

Saban hari, bapa mertuaku hanya bersandar di kerusi roda dan termenung. Dia sekadar menunggu dan menunggu.

Aku masih mengelamun. Teringat apakah masih ada hari esok buatku setelah mengecapi 51 tahun hidup di dunia ini. Adakah memadai ilmu di dada ini untuk meniti masa hadapan yang lebih getir lagi? Adakah aku telah bersedia menghadapi alam barzakh? Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?

Adakah aku sudah bersedia? Ya Allah, betapa takutnya aku menghadapi kematian tanpa bekalan takwa ...

Lamunanku terhenti. Tersentak hatiku yang jauh mengelamun apabila terdengar suamiku menyapa "Sayang, get ready. We'll leave by 12 coz the place (where we were going for my birthday lunch) will be packed if we don't go early."

Love's melody overflowing from my heart's piano

19 April 2010, Monday

sayang, today you add another year to your life

today, i love you more than life itself

loving you i truly adore

i could not ask, ask for more.

i never can find the right words to say,

i just go with the flow each and everyday.

i never knew there could be love like this,

in a world full of chaos, its always you i miss.

if there was one thing I could ask Allah for,

i would tell him that its you i adore.

my heart skips a beat when i hear the door,

because i know its you coming back for more.

since we had the four kittos together,

i know we can withstand any kind of weather.

i will pray to Allah

i will make doa for us,

so that Allah s.w.t will bless the kids' and our lives.

you have the key to my heart,

you unlocked it so now we can never part.

my heart painted an ancient song

but for us there won’t be an eternity

but no matter what we will try and try

and I’m sure we will always remain happy…

so if you listen very close

there is a special symphony

from someone’s heart piano

is where you’ll find love’s melody.

you are someone I love

i’ll keep on looking at you.

there are things I can’t say

for now love’s melody will do

the feelings I can’t convey

i stand by them, singing in soprano.

so listen to my love’s melody

overflowing from my heart’s piano........

happy birthday sayang
i will always love you....

It's Raining Birthdays!!!

25 October 2009, Sunday (6 Zulkaedah)

It's the second day running that my husband and I had attended kids' birthday do. Well.... we aren't actually complaining, particularly since without a maid, such celebrations alleviate somewhat my headache about what to cook for lunch....

We sped to Kirah's house just before 3:00 p.m to attend her daughters' birthday party. Amirah, the third child turned 6 on 17 September, while Zayanah, the youngest kitto turned 5 on 26 October 2009.

Happy Birthday Mieya and Nana!!!

Please grow up fast so that you both 

can cook Mihun Sup for Uncle Fusil!!

Upon reaching Kirah's house, my brother Wan Elias, Zaini Long, my sis-in-law, and my niece, Wan Nadia were already there. Elias was already helping himself to the dishes.  I guess they had skipped lunch, just like us!! As we were ravenous, we joined Elias and his family, without a moment to lose.  Being one of the early birds, and as the saying goes, "Early bird catches the worm has its advantages. We needn't rush with the other guests to partake the food. 

The entrance to Kira's garden was gaily decorated with an arch and balloons.

After helping ourselves to the food, we sat outside and caught up with each other as such occasions only afford us the opportunity to chit chat with our siblings.

Among the early birds... Wan Elias, my brother, and my husband, Amir Hussain

The two birthday kittos, Mieya and Nana were nowhere to be found. It was only much later that they emerged from their hiding place....

If you look closely at the pics, most of the guests were the same as the ones who attended Rayyan's birthday do on Saturday.  Suffice to say, it was raining birthdays the last two days....

Caught on camera at Mieya's and Nana's Birthday party......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Malu tapi mahu" 

My grand niece, Syaza, the reluctant participant

 

 

 

 

 

 

The tiny tots having a whale of a time playing "musical paper"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My grand niece, Wan Batrisya singing her hearts out to win the last prize...

 

Saturday's birthday boy, Wan Rayyan Haziq

 

 

 

"Mummy, why did you buy a school bus for us? We want a Beemer!!"

"Come frens, let's take a ride on the school bus!"

The birthday kittos' mum, Kirah, 

who couldn't wait for the girls to grow up to do all the cleaning and household chores

"What a relief!!! Uncle Syed can take over taking care of Rayyan!!!"

Till the next birthday party or family gathering, So long... Adieu... Farewell... Sayonara.... Poitu Varen... Au Revoir... Zai Jian... Jumpa Lagi.... Ma'assalama...Khodafez........