When chicken talks to rabbit

Yesterday I went all the way to Klang to pick up my new maid, a young Cambodian girl. This is the first time ever that I'm having a non-Indonesian maid.

If truth be told, I'm quite sick of having Indonesian maids as they've proven to be unreliable and caused me unnecessary duress and stress as proven the last 2 years. I hope I've said my last goodbye to these nightmare.

I fervently prayed to Allah that this Cambodian maid would be a good one and would not display the same traits as my previous Indonesian maid, a maid I nicknamed Lipstick Jungle Maid. 

After the first day ordeal of talking like a chicken and a buffalo, she knows hardly any Malay nor English, and I DO NOT KNOW Cambodian at all, I began to realise something. Despite the ordeal of communicating with her and the hardship of trying to be understood by each other, I think we are both better off not knowing each other's language.

What is beautiful is the fact that she doesn't answer me back, nor said much. And I only issue minimal instructions with the aid of sign language. I think this will work well as I believe, less said, better outcome. And most importantly, due to the language impediment, I'm rest assured that she would find it very difficult and an uphill battle to chat with my super-friendly neighbours.

So far, on day 2, the chicken and rabbit had both survived!!!

Runaway Maid, Twice Shy - The sequel.

14 August 2010, Sunday (4 Ramadhan)

Sequel from my domestic maid tales, "Runaway Maid, Once Bitten".

After reporting to my agent about my men-crazy cum runaway maid, both my husband and I had taken a decision not to take her back if if the agent found her. How could we trust her with my father-in-law if she had no sense of responsibility and could take off at her whims and fancies!!!

After disappearing for 8 days, the agent finally found her in Sungai Buloh (she thought she could easily get another job from the nurseries, but boy was she wrong!).

And the agent managed to cajole us to take her back and gave her another chance. They pointed out that if we didn't take her back, it would be such a waste of money with us having paid the agent a lot of fee.

Naturally when she came back, she begged for our forgiveness and I had told her in uncertain terms that I was going to keep her handphone, which was actually the roots of all evils, and what I'd termed as Perils of Technology. I told her that she could only use the phone on Saturdays.

That Saturday after she came back, she asked for her phone and at the end of the day I had asked for the phone back, as agreed between us and the agent. You'd not believe how willful and how mulish she was. She refused to return the phone citing reasons that her husband called her regularly and she didn't want to miss his calls. I doubted that very much.

What she didn't know was, when I took her phone, I had taken the opportunity to check her contacts. My!! My!! My!!. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was Cinta 1. Cinta 2. Cinta 3.... Sayang 1. Sayang 2. Sayang 3... And most of her contacts are the male species. So I was spot-on with my nick name for her, i.e. "Men-crazy"!!!

What could I do, but to relent. But I had repeatedly reminded her that she could only use the phone at night. Naturally, she defied me. At times, she even went out to the backyard to receive and make calls out. Her phone calls were so constant that it irritated me to the very core of my being!!!

And after things had settled down somewhat (what I hadn't reckon with her was, a storm was brewing quietly on her front), I had proposed to my husband to take back my father-in-law. So, on 1 August 2010, we took him home.

Everything seemed normal. And that evening, on 1 August 2010, I decided to give her the Maid's Job Description (which I hadn't bothered to give her at the beginning) and I had included the things she needed to do to take care of my father-in-law.. This time I had modified it somewhat given that she's such a blur soul, so I had simplified everything to make it clear to her.

Despite the JD being crystal clear, she was still uncertain. The next morning, August 2 2010, I had gone down to see my husband off before he left for Bintulu, Sarawak. And he had commented, "Lily is really efficient!". "Huh", I had thought. "She had given Bapak (father) a bath and had even washed his clothes." And it was only 7.15 a.m. I was pleasantly surprised.

And when I asked if she had given him breakfast, i.e 4 pieces of bread with butter and jam, she had answered in the affirmative. She said she had given him 2 pieces and pointed to the "Kueh baulu" which I had brought home a day earlier!!! What a total jerk!!!

So, I had told her to give him 4 pieces of bread, otherwise he would be starving and demanding for more food. And this time, I saw her taking 8 pieces!!!. I didn't realise the extent of her sloppiness and how dense, how harebrained, how foggy and how vague her brain was. Couldn't she differentiate between 4 and 8? Oh my!!! What else do I have to deal with this thick-numbskull maid?

After my husband had left for Sarawak, I went back to my room. And at around 10:30 a.m I suddenly recalled what my husband had told me about her having washed my father in-law's clothes. I went down to remind her not to wash his clothes in the washing machine but to hand wash them.

When I went down, she was in the bathroom. But I though something was not right as she was talking on the phone, and she was in the bathroom. I dismissed this without much thought as she had done many harebrained and idiotic things before. I didn't think that at that time, she was making plans for her second getaway.

So I went up again, and would come down later to remind her. And at around 11.30 a.m, when I went down, the room was in darkness. And when I called her, there was no reply. So I switched on the light but couldn't find her anywhere. And saw that the key was in the keyhole on my grille door.

I had thought at that time that she must have gone to do gardening outside my house compound. But I soon realised that she had scooted off for the second time. Imagine my anger at that time.

We had trusted her enough to want to bring my father-in-law back, and imagine on the 2nd day of him coming back, she had made her disappearing act once again. And this time I had reached boiling point!!!

After calling the agent, I  had made a decision that she WAS NEVER GOING TO RETURN TO MY HOUSE EVER AGAIN!!! Imagine the trouble she had caused me, leaving me in the lurch, with a semi-paralyzed father-in-law, a husband who was away in Sarawak and me, with an aching spine and back!!!

And because of this incident, I had decided once and for all that I was never going to take another full-time maid from Indonesia ever again. Once bitten twice shy, and in her case, it's twice bitten, several times shy!!!

Today I'm much happier with a weekly Filipino help who comes in once a week for 4 hours to help me with the household chores. My bathrooms are much more cleaner now compared to the last 5 months and the ironed clothes are much smoother and crispier as Lily was a total failure in these aspects. In fact, GOOD RIDDANCE LILY!!! I'm so thankful and glad you're finally out of my life!!! It's been a nightmare the last five months and finally I can sleep peacefully, despite nursing a failing spine....

Runaway Maid, Once Bitten

13 August 2010, Friday (3 Ramadhan)

Sequel from my domestic maid tales, "Lipstick-Jungle Maid".

Lily was my men-crazy maid. She had worked as my maid for about 3 months, with hardly much work to be done as we hadn't brought back my father-in-law home, when she first ran away. We wanted to be sure of her capabilities and competencies in handling my father-in-law besides doing the daily chores.

In June 2010, I held a kenduri (feast) at my house. As my eldest sister insisted on cooking for the kenduri, I sent Lily to her house to help her with the preparations. According to my sister, she hardly helped there. She was more interested in chatting on the phone in the maid's room.

And Lily begged my sister to allow her to use her phone as she claimed that her husband wanted to send his photo via MMS. And 2 messages came with it which clearly showed that it wasn't her husband but one of the strings of boyfriends she has amassed since she started working in Malaysia.

For someone who's married, she has no qualms about betraying her husband with all the love messages she exchanged with her boyfriends. It really stumped me as I believe strongly in the sanctity of marriage and all spouses should be faithful to one another, regardless of whether you're staying in the same house or working elsewhere or out of the country. But she broke all marriage rules.

When she  was away at my sister's house, I decided to spring-clean my kitchen. To my horror and shock, I found that she lied to me all these months. As my house is prone to mice (at that time), I had repeatedly reminded her to clean the back area of the washing machine and dryer as mice love to nestle in such places.

And I was in for a nasty shock. The back are of the washing machine was full of mice poops and you'd not believe until you see it for yourself. The back of the dryer had never been swept (probably for the last 3 months since she started working for me). It was full of rubbish, probably those mice had made a nice home for themselves. See for yourself to know what I meant.

 

And to think she claimed that she cleaned these areas every day. What a liar!!! And on the day of the kenduri, I was busy preparing other food stuff, so my poor husband had to clean up the mess. Anyway, what are husbands for???

And I thought I had enough shock for one day. I wanted to clean the toilet as I noticed that she's not thorough. She is a real lazy bum. She only cleans for the sake of cleaning and the floors and walls are still filthy. As I entered the toilet I could smell something stinking, like a dead fish. I followed the trail of the smell and  to my horror, as I took out a couple of towels Lily had used to wipe the floor, underneath the towels in the pail was a squid. And I recalled that the last marketing I did was a week before. My gosh!!! She had left the squid in the mop pail for a week. It was no wonder the toilet had a stinking odour!!!

And when she came back from my sister's house, I really gave her an earful!! How can I hold back, knowing how she had lied to me all these months, and knowing how filthy she was. I had been busy with teaching and my translation projects to bother about checking. And I had believed her because I thought she could be trusted.

Prior to this, I had seldom scolded her except when she made mistakes. In fact, I have never raised my voice at any of my maids before. Hence why they had stayed long with me. But with Lily that day, 21 June 2010, to be more precise, I almost lost my cool. She was saved from further hankering, ticking off and rebuke from me simply because the guests had started arriving at my house by then.

But what astounded me most was the fact that she managed to sneak out of the house whilst everyone was busy (this was later told to me by my daughter after my sister's maid mentioned to her), she had gone to the  public phone opposite my house (probably to make her plans for her getaway with her boyfriend).

That evening, after everyone had left, I had helped her with the cleaning up, and I went up to retire after I had left instructions for her to complete the cleaning up (there were a couple of pots and pans that were still unwashed), and of course there were tons of rubbish to be thrown away (which I had presumed she'd do the next morning).

When I got up the next morning, I had called her from upstairs but there was no reply, so I knocked on her door., and still there was no answer. When I opened the door, to my utter surprise she was nowhere to be found. She had scooted off. My son had mentioned that she was found hovering around in the living room at 3 a.m. When he asked her what she was doing, she had mentioned that she wanted to throw away the rubbish. That was just a ruse on her part.

When I walked into the kitchen that morning, she had left the condition as it was (before I retired for the night). The pots and pans were still unwashed. The floor had not been swept and mopped and all the rubbish were still lying in the kitchen, in several heaps, untied!!! Anger couldn't begin to describe my feeling at that time.

Runaway Maid, Twice Shy - The sequel.

... Lipstick-Jungle Maid

11 August 2010, Wednesday 

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN LUCKY BUT LUCK HAS RAN OUT OF ME 
By the normal standard in Malaysia, I'm considered one of the fortunate employers in Malaysia as my maid usually stays long with me. Maids seem to strike a good chemistry with me. I have had maids the last 26 years. 

I WAS STUNNED BY MY MUM'S QUESTION 
When I was pregnant with my first child in 1984, my late mum had posed this question to me, "Wan, have you thought about who would look after your child after you have delivered?"

My! My! My! How innocent I was at that time. I was 24 then. It never crossed my mind that once I go to work, I would need someone to look after my little one. Obviously at that time, staying at home was out of the question. I had to work to supplement my husband's meager and derisory income. 

MY MUM, MY  SAVIOR 
It was mum who took the trouble and made the effort to look for a maid for me. She had foresight. She arranged for a maid from Kedah, Rosmah to work for me when I was four months pregnant. She wanted the maid to get used to my style before the baby came along. 

3 MAIDS OVER A SPAN OF 24 YEARS 
And since then, I have had only 2 permanent maids, with a couple of temps. The temps are the ones with the most antics and most stories. Check out my Domestic Maid Tales (coming soon). 

LUCKY DRAWS 
I always likened getting a maid to getting lucky draws. If you are lucky, you get a good and reliable maid, like mine the past 24 years. It was only the last 2 years that I encountered psychotic maids. 

SCHIZOEFFECTIVE DISORDER MAID 
If you're extremely unlucky, you may even end up getting a schizoeffective disorder maid like mine (in 2009), or one with a similar problem or with other problems, which could be health, mental, or physical. 

IMPRESSIVE BIODATA? 
No one in their right mind (both maids and agents included) would reveal any deficiencies that are afflicting the maids. Their biodata has been inflated to look very pretty and impressive. 

WYSWIG 
When it comes to getting a maid, it is WYSWIG - What You See Is What You Get! But if you're lucky, you'll get likeable and wonderful maids, like the 3 maids I've had before.

Perhaps, I should come to terms with the fact that not every time I would be lucky. Being three times lucky out of five times is not such a bad scenario.....

... AND ALONG CAME A "MEN-CRAZY" AND LAZY MAID 
After I sacked Yanti in September 2009, I was left without a maid for six months. Naturally, it exacerbated my spinal and back problem as I had to do most of the housework, as by then I was a full-time housewife. And children being children, they think their mum is a maid.

The saying "Never judge a book by it's cover" holds very true to my experience with this new maid I employed since mid-March 2010.

She was the complete opposite of Yanti in terms of demeanour, she was soft-spoken and appears very timid. And there her good qualities end. 

MEN-CRAZY 
She is what I'd term as a "men-crazy" type of women. When she came to work for us, my house was undergoing renovations. And of course, the house was swarmed with workers, Indonesian, Myanmarese and Chinese. 

LIPSTICK JUNGLE 
This crazy maid of mine would run to her room to apply lipstick whenever the men descended on my house....

I had chided her many times for her silly antics. But it fell on deaf ears. She gets highly excitable with the presence of my workers. She would use every excuse to be outside the house or where the workers were working.

WHEN THE CAT IS AWAY THE MICE WILL PLAY!!! 
And she is a real lazy bum. She only does work whenever I'm at home. When I'm out she lazes around and plays truant. Many times I've caught her. And to think that she hardly has much work to do.

FATHER-IN-LAW 
The main reason why I had taken a maid was to look after my semi paralyzed father-in-law. But we hadn't brought him home as we wanted to see if this maid is competent enough to look after him. We had deferred taking him back until we are confident enough of her capabilities. 

MY MAID DOES NOT HANG THE LAUNDRY, I DO!!! 
So she hardly has any work to do. No old man to take care of these 5 months or so; and she doesn't even need to hang my laundry as I'm the one who does it. My laundry are hung in my bedroom balcony and she's one maid whom I do not allow to step into my bedroom (I had this uncanny feeling that it was not safe to allow her into my room unlike my other maids and my intuition has been spot-on!!!).

RUNAWAY MAID ... Check out the sequel

The perils of technology

2 August 2010, Monday

EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS THROUGH MOBILE PHONES
Families are separated, couples divorced, and children are displaced due to extra marital affairs through mobile phone abuse. Do you think this is rampant in Malaysia and the world over? 

STUDENTS ARE DISTRACTED...
Mobile phones have also caused unnecessary distractions for students while studying. They have been reported to have used mobile phones to surf pornographic sites and engaged in immoral activities.

Viewing of such illicit materials provided fertile ground for the spread of HIV/AIDS. It has definitely provoked unprotected sexual activities among school population and families. Rape, cult and others can result from viewing such materials. 

... AND SO ARE HOUSEMAIDS
And the latest peril associated with mobile phones are maids running off with their boyfriends or are constantly distracted by the ringing of the phone or text messaging when they are supposed to be working. And my maids are no exceptions. 

MY FIRST MAID STAYED WITH ME FOR 18 YEARS 
My first encounter with the perils of technology was in 2006/2007. At that time I had an Indonesian maid, Wati (name changed to protect her privacy), aged 27. Prior to Wati joining us, I have had a few maids since 1983. Rosmah, a Kedahan started working for me when I was 4 months pregnant. She went on to stay with me for 18 solid years. Mind you, it was 18 SOLID YEARS, not 1 month, not 8 months, not even 18 months. She left in 2001.

After she left, I had several temporary maids (check out my sequel on MAIDS STORIES, what I wanted to share are so hilarious, it deserves a story of it's own).

THE BEGINNING OF MY PROBLEMS WITH MAIDS
Wati was with with us for about three years before she asked if we could buy her a handphone. Being such a good maid, of course, we agreed.

She was unmarried. She had a boyfriend. Problem is it wasn't her boyfriend who gave me problem. It was my neighbour who kept communicating with her. She took on the role of a saviour. And of course in the process my maid was swayed and started being recaltricant and showing her true colours.

GOOD RIDDANCE
Despite being happy working for my family (she was treated as part of the family, went on holidays with us. We bought her gold for her birthdays. She stayed with us for 6 years), she decided not to renew her contract with us and left to work for another employer, who apparently paid her a much higher salary. If truth be told, I had said "Good riddance!".

TAIKO
Maids are maids. They tend to take on the role of a taiko after 3 years. That's the maximum duration they should stay with a particular employer. So when she told me she wanted to leave, I gladly let her go. In fact, I was hugely relieved.

MY PSYCHOTIC MAID WHACKED MY FATHER-IN-LAW...
And I took another maid from Java, Yanti in 2009. Problem was, my neighbour gave Wati's handphone number to Yanti, and Wati had happily proclaimed how happy she was working with the new employer with a much higher salary.

Naturally, Yanti wanted the same kind of privilege. She did everything to irritate me. She was loud-mouthed. She screamed obscenities at my partially paralysed father-in-law. She threw tantrum, she even whacked my father-in-law. And that was the last straw. By that time, she had stayed with me for 8 months.

I packed her off on the same day. Funny thing was, on the day she was supposed to be packed off to the airport, she refused to leave, citing shame as her reasons for not wanting to leave. She was ashamed that she would not bring any "wealth" back to Java. What a JOKE!!!

POLICE REPORT
At that time, I had told my neighbour to remind Wati that if she continued to instigate my maid and came anywhere near my house ever again, I was going to lodge a police report against her.

BUSYBODY OR PLAIN NOSEY
Imagine a neighbour who keeps in touch with other people's maids even after she had left an employment!!!!!!!!. My husband can vouch that I, for one, have NEVER EVER bothered about other people's maids, especially my neighbours' maids. Don't talk about hp numbers, I don't even know their names!!! So, to think that I have a neighbour who CARES so much about my maids is something worthwhile pondering, perhaps even researching!!!

And I was going to report Yanti too for abusing my father-in-law repeatedly. Wati had happily came to my house several times when I was at work. Guess what their conversation revolved around????

EMPLOYERS ABUSED 
And to think that the Indonesian government is making so much fuss about employers abusing their maids. What about psychotic maids abusing their employers, both physically and mentally? 

... Lipstick-Jungle Maid

Lucky Despite One or Two Bad Apples

3 November 2009, Tuesday (15 Zulkaedah)

Yesterday afternoon, as I was peeling the tons of onions, shallots and garlic (as my kids are crazy over fried shallots), I was thinking about the Indonesian maid that my agent promised to bring in by the end of this month.

I missed having a maid to do all the routine and mundane chores in my house. I do not mind doing most housework but peeling onions, pounding stuff in my mortar, and ironing, are certainly not my cup of tea, chores which I'm not passionate about at all.

I'm very much looking forward to the arrival of my maid to lighten my burden as I'm still nursing a spinal problem.

Just as I dream about the maid's arrival, I received a phone call from my agent who told me a piece of bad news. He said that because of the recent brouhaha about Indonesian maid (the murder and abuse cases), Indonesian government has put a stop (temporary or otherwise) to the inflow of new maids. Gosh, there goes my dream. I was fuming and was thinking why the majority of employers are penalised because of one or two bad apples!!! Urggghhh!!!

Immediately, my husband asked me to contact the company providing weekend help as he reckons I would need help now that no maid is forthcoming.

As luck would have it, later in the afternoon, I received an sms from my sister asking if I still needed a maid, and gave me the contact detail of an agent who could supply Indonesian maid. Hmmm... I was surprised, what with the recent spat between Malaysia and Indonesia.

Without a moment to lose, I called this lady, by the name of Ustazah Jeliah and she confirmed that she has two maids waiting to be employed. Both are on social visit pass, and I could try one out. And if I find her suitable and competent, she would look into processing her work permit.

So, later that night, we drove all the way to Taman Kosas to meet the agent and brought our new maid home. Her name is Sulis Stiyani, 38 years old.  Looks decent, but through my experience, looks are belying, and I've learnt not to judge a book by its cover, like decent face, monstrous character; monstrous face, timid character, or the likes of it.

I pray to Allah that she would turn out okay. I fervently hope that she would treat my father in law well, and not abuse him, like my previous schizo maid. Also, I'm tired of training new maids. I have to start all over again once I hire a new maid, and let me tell you, it's no mean feat training them. I hope she'll stay long with us and alleviate my burden.

Your Mother Does Not Work Here, Please Clean Up Your Mess

21 October 2009, Wednesday

My kittos think that messing up their house is their birth right!!! Haaa... Hence, this notice that I put up at home since I sacked my maid one and half weeks ago. Kids being kids (even though they are no longer kids) assume that messing up the house is acceptable, as their maid, ooooppps, their MUM, can clean up after them!!

I am not only a stickler for punctuality, but also very fastidious and finicky about cleanliness.  The slightest mess in my house will trouble and disconcert me. Everything will be have to be spotlessly clean and neat and tidy (on that count, I take after my late mum).

Not one of my bunch of boys who's still in my nest (my only daughter is in UTM, Johor) takes after me. Messing up their room, their clothes, their bed is something they enjoy doing.....

And, now that I'm without a maid, the above notice serves as a strong message to these lazy bums that I'm a MUM, not a maid. In any case, I did not have an iota of regret sacking my schizo and whacko maid, actually good riddance to her.

Of course, having a maid lightens my burden immensely, but I can't have a maid who's downright rude and abusive to my father in-law.

So on 16 October 2009 (co-incidentally my 50th birthday), my husband and I trotted to a maid agency in Kampung Pandan, an agent which was recommended my my eldest sister, Kak Pah, who sympathised with my plight after having heard about my zany and eccentric maid.

And upon meeting the CEO (she's very friendly and approachable; and the agency is well established; they not only recruit foreign maids, but also other foreign workers for other industries), I was told that I could test out a maid, Endang, who was rejected by her previous Gwailo employer.

As I was quite desperate, and after having discussed with my husband, we decided to give Endang a try. Upon meeting, Endang, I agreed with the CEO's comment that she's a tomboy. She had even told me that Endang's very stubborn. We were told that Endang had run away from her previous employer as she could no longer tolerate the incessant verbal abuse flung on her on a daily basis.

After we brought her home, and after having briefed her on her duties, she settled in. After a few days, I realised that despite being very docile and meek, as opposed to her tomboyish appearance, she was far too slow and too forgetful to be an effective domestic help in my house.

She was somewhat a scatter brain and tended to be scatty, absent minded, slipshod, and dreamy. She had a tendency to forget to lock the grille, switch off the lights, and keep food in the fridge (several dishes turned bad after she failed to keep them in the fridge).  She couldn't even keep up with the daily household chores (like cleaning the mess made by my lazy bums at home). If she worked on something, she would spend ages on that one particular chore, and tended to ignore other chores.

But what alarmed and terrified me most was what she related to me when asked why she ran away from her previous employer. Her employer was a Caucasian who had once stayed in Indonesia for 15 years. And the couple were both very fluent in Indonesian, and now residing in Malaysia.  Now that explained the incessant verbal abuse she received from the employer, in a language which was supposed to be music to her ears, her mother tongue.

The night before she ran away, the lady employer had hurled abuses at her and had even pushed her head repeatedly. And the next morning, after recalling what had happened the night before and all the abuses she had been receiving for 29 days, she became very angry.

In fact, angry was an understatement. She was actually fuming, hopping mad, and beside herself. As she became more infuriated and enraged as she could no longer tolerate the abuses, she grabbed a kitchen knife and was ready to plunge the knife into her employer's heart.

With deep resentment and hatred in her heart, she walked to the staircase, and as she was heading towards the employer's bedroom on the upper floor, tightly gripping the knife in one hand, suddenly she thought of Allah, and slowly the knife slipped from her hand, and fell to her side.  And that was when she decided that it was better for her to run away than to be a murderer. (Had I known this earlier, I would not have considered her at all). Hmmmm.... another pschotic and zany maid landed on my lap!

And another incident that alarmed me was her admission that she preferred everything masculine. She wore men's clothes, men's shoes, even men's underwear (she even showed me the boxer shorts she wore!!). And some amusing remarks she made personally to me after my husband left for work made me anxious and nervous.

So after having weighed the pros and cons, (more pros than cons), my husband and I decided to send her back to her agent yesterday.

Thus, as of today, I'm without a maid again, SO KITTOS, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, PLEASE CLEAN UP YOUR MESS, AS YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT WORK HERE!!!

My Maid Tried to Commit Harakiri Today......

10 October 2009, Saturday (21 Syawal): 4:30 a.m
Sleep had eluded me after my schizo maid left as I recalled what had transpired between she and I at at 3:30 a.m.......................

When my alarm went off at 3:30 a.m, I had woken my husband up. It was time for him to take my schizo maid to the LCCT airport. And, as I had no intention of going to the airport for obvious reasons, I wanted to just laze in bed and see my husband and son off when they leave.

But instinct had told me to go down and checked on my maid.  Somehow, since last night, I had this nagging feeling that something was not right somewhere. When we were leaving for dinner with my kids, I had reminded my maid to pack her bags, and had asked her once again if she had enough bags to put all her stuff. And she had given a non committal answer to me. But I had brushed off the nagging feeling to a case of over anxiety...on my part.... I was actually counting the hours before she left....

So when I went down to check on her, never for the life of me, did I imagine that she was going to resist being sent back. As a matter of fact, she was the one who had kept pestering us to allow her to go back before Raya as something untoward had happened to her daughter. As she had just came on board (0nly 7 months), we were quite reluctant to allow her to go back, and had planned to let her go back for good after her one year is up in January 2010.

Even though there was light streaming from the kitchen, I sensed something was not right.  True enough, when I called for her, she was lying down in the living room and was not dressed to go. She was still dressed in the clothes she slept in. And when I demanded to know why she was not dressed, she had replied that she did not want to go back!!

Can you believe that?? I was flabbergasted and stunned!!! I remembered how obstinate and willful she was, so had explained to her, while controlling my temper that her passport had already been stamped C.O.M by the Immigration department.  And that meant that she would be classified an illegal immigrant if she did not exit Malaysia by today.

You'd not believe how mulish and headstrong she was because she was adamant that she remained in my house! And after I had once again told her that she must leave, she had the audacity to tell me that she was not worried about her work permit being canceled. Instead, she wanted us to send her to her friend's house. Believe it or not!!!

She reminded me of a suicide bomber, someone who's not afraid to die.  But in her case, for what cause??? She thinks she's a Japanese Samurai.  She's willing to commit harakiri. Hara-kiri is a ritualized form of suicide with roots in 12th century Japanese samurai warrior culture. Rather than be captured, a defeated swordsman would stab himself in the left belly, draw the blade to the right, then pull upwards.

She, a Japanese Samurai???????? At least for the Japanese Samurai,  i.e. a defeated samurai, it was meant as atonement. It also demonstrated enormous psychological courage, which was a way of winning back some measure of honor even in defeat. Obviously, bleeding to death from a gut wound or suffocating from a throat wound is a slow and miserable way to die.

But in her case, what cause was she fighting for? Perhaps, an asylum would a be a better place to commit her to.

And this time, I was beginning to lose my patience with her. I had told her in no uncertain terms that she must dress up and must leave for the airport by 4:00 a.m. Soon after, I went back to my room and had related to my husband on what had transpired between she and I.  He was shocked, to say the least.  We had mulled on the next course of action should she remained unmoved.

I went down with my husband and saw that she had gone into her room.  I had knocked on the door and once again asked whether she was ready.  And, PHEW!!! This time she was. Thank God!!! As she was leaving, she shook my hands and asked for forgiveness from me. I had not said a word to her because I was still reeling from the shock of the earlier incident. And had thought about my poor father-in-law who had been physically and  verbally abused by her. It was him that she needed to ask for forgiveness more.

I couldn't imagine and bear to put up with her in my house had she been persistent in remaining here.

When my son started the car, I felt a surge of titanic, in fact, colossal relief that finally, she's gone from my life, hopefully.....

Knowing her, anything can happen. I pray fervently to God to protect my family.I hope my family's nightmare is over, especially, my poor father-in-law. And now, hopefully sleep can face me......

What You See Is What You Get (WYSWIG)

6 October 2009, Tuesday (17 Syawal) 

Have you ever wondered why human beings can be so docile and meek on one instance and the next second can turn aggressive, hostile, destructive and violent? I wish someone could explain to me this syndrome or phenomena. I wish I have the answer. I wish I know how to deal with such situations better in future.

Could people like this be suffering from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, particularly the latter as they suffer from apparent mood swings and bipolar-like states. 

 

I suspect my current maid suffers from schizoaffective disorder, as her mood swings and changes at the flick of a finger. She can be very courteous, very meek and docile at one instance, and change into a woman possessed by the devil or satan at the next instance.  She sometimes scares me to death.

 

 

 

 

 

There are many people who have spoken strongly about foreign maids. I always likened getting a maid to lucky draws. You may be wondering why I say this. If you think and ponder very carefully, you'd definitely agree with me.

When you go to the maid agency and tell them the profile you require they would give you several profiles that they reckon will match what you require. 

And you wait for several weeks before the maid arrives. And the day she arrives, you welcome her with a deep sense of apprehension. 

Would she be okay?  Would she be respectful of you and your household? Would she be able to meet all your requirements (despite the beautifully inflated profile)? 

Would she be able to work under pressure?  Would she be able to handle your kids?  Would she treat your kids well?  Would she be able to take care of your mum or dad? Would she know how to cook? 

Would she be moody? Would she be able to adapt to your customs and culture given she comes from a totally different environment and background. Would she be able to adapt to your style? Would she stay long with you?

Would she gossip with the neighbours or anyone else who cares to listen to her?  Would she be docile?  Would she be meek?  Or would she be aggressive?  Would she be violent and hurt your family members? Would she abuse your kids or your loved ones? 

Or is she suffering from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder? Is the disorder lurking within her without it being noticed by anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And once she comes on board, you will only know her true colours after she has served you for a couple of months. And at that time, you will remember with distinct recollection why I've likened getting a maid to getting a lucky draw.  

If you're extremely unlucky, you'll get a schizoaffective disorder maid like mine, or one with similar problems or with other problems, could be health, could be mental, could be physical. No one in their right mind (both maids and agents included) would reveal any deficiencies that are afflicting the maids. When it comes to getting a maid, it is WYSWIG - What You See Is What You Get.

But if you're very lucky, you'll get likeable and wonderful maids, like all the other maids I've had before. 

Perhaps, I should come to terms with the fact that not every time I would be lucky.  Being lucky three times out of four times is not such a bad situation.............. 

 

 

I've Had It With This Cantankerous and Loud-Mouthed Maid!!!

5 October 2009, Monday (16 Syawal)

SPRING CLEANING
Today, I decided to do spring cleaning of my family hall on the upper floor of my house.  I've been meaning to do this since I retired but never got the chance to do it due to other commitments.

It's interesting to discover the things you and your family members keep, and when it's time for spring cleaning, there would be bound to be things that you would want to throw away without hesitation (even though you had decided to keep that during the last spring cleaning); and things that you think, ponder, muse, mull over, and contemplate numerous times before you come to a conclusion on what to be thrown away; and there would also be things where, try as you might, you just cannot bear to part with.

I was in the same dilemma today, but looking at the mountains of rubbish I had thrown away, I think I've made inroads in terms of what I've thrown away and what I've decided to keep, i.e throw 70%, keep 30%, until the next spring cleaning.....

STARK-RAVING CANTANKEROUS MAID
And it was while I was doing the spring cleaning on the upper floor of my house, that I heard a commotion coming from downstairs. And as I tried to listen more carefully, I heard my maid's increasingly loud voice scolding and disparaging my father-in-law.

This is actually not the first time she has been doing this. But what is amazing about this maid is the fact that she would put on her best behaviour when she's dealing with my father-in-law whenever my husband and I are downstairs, and whenever we are within earshots.  But whenever she thinks I'm in my room and when my husband is at work, all hell would break loose. When she spent Raya with my sister-in-law in Bangi, she also stifled her true colours. She was on her best behaviour without "a hair out of place".

And after I retired, I could hear her screaming and disparaging the poor soul incessantly. In fact she had complained to my sister-in-law that she did not get any scolding from me when I was still working, but now that I'm at home, she gets a fair scolding from me.  What a lame complaint!!!

And I had posed this question to my sister-in-law, "Can you imagine how she had been treating bapak in my absence?" "Can you imagine how bapak had suffered in my absence when I was working?" "Imagine, even when I'm at home, she has the audacity and the nerve to abuse him, right under my nose!!"

And this verbal and sometimes physical abuses usually happened when she's giving him his bath.  Old folks being old folks would have their own set ways of doing things.

And this maid who's just an employee would try to impose her style on my father-in-law.  Of course, there are bound to be clashes. And today, was no different.

She had assumed that I was cooped up in my bedroom , so she hadn't realised that I was listening to her tirade, and I could hear banging and shouting in the bathroom.  And a short while later, my father-in-law's cry for help, "Help!! Help!!!. And still not satisfied with her tirade and physical abuse (God knows what she did), she further roared when she came out of the bathroom. "Stupid!!! Stupid old man!!" And, at that time, I snapped!!!

I rushed down and asked her what was happening and queried her why she had verbally and physically abused my father-in-law and why she was so rude calling him stupid!.  And you'd not believe her reaction. Instead of being remorseful and apologetic, she had scolded me and continued screaming at my father-in-law. Can you imagine how belligerent she is!!! Urghhh....

While still seething with anger and trying to control and contain my temper, I had sent an sms to both my sister-in-law and my husband relating to them what had just taken place.

When I was sending that sms, I could hear her still muttering and scolding my poor father-in-law. And a short while later, I could hear her rising loud-mouthed and irritating voice again.  And I was wondering if she had gone berserk again.  But when I listened closely, I realised she was talking to my sister-in-law.  And of course, her version of it had been twisted to suit her side of the story. And she even had the audacity to dramatize the whole situation by crying pitifully.

After my sister-in-law had spoken to my crazy maid, she called me. She related what I had partly heard and deduced.  I had just told her to weigh it for herself and posed these questions to her, "Would a man, despite suffering from dementia relate an action that the maid had whacked him on the head if she hadn't done that? " "And would a man cry out in pain and screamed for help if the maid has not been hurting him?"

I've had a maid since I was carrying my first child in 1984.  At that time I was 4 months pregnant, but was a very naive mother-to-be. Despite working, I hadn't even thought about who would look after my son after he was born.  It was my late mum who had posed this question to me and was the one who actually looked into finding a maid for me so that someone could take care of my son when I was at work.  How very naive I was at that time!!

And  she found a local girl by the name of Rasmah. Rasmah came from Gurun and was 29 years old when she first came to work for my family. She stopped working for us at the age of 47 years old.

You may be wondering whether I've made a mistake in the age. No, I've not!! She had served us for 18 long solid years.  If I've not been a good and reasonable employer, would my maid have stayed with my family for 18 long years?  She was good and we treated her like a family. And she gets expensive presents during her birthdays and special occasions. And Rasmah loved all my four kids to a fault, like her own (She was married once before but never had children).  My kids get far more expensive presents from her for their birthdays compared to the ones we gave them.  She doted on each and everyone of them, especially my youngest son. 

She only left us when someone came to ask for her hand in marriage and she accepted the proposal and settled down with him. God bless her and her new life!.

And my second maid Tuti stayed for 3 years.  She left after my mum passed away. And the third maid lasted six long years. This maid was given gold for every birthday and she even went on vacation with us.

But this current maid.... my..oh my..... She tests my patience to the limit. And today was the last straw.  At the earliest opportunity we are packing her off to where she belongs.

I've never had a maid who is so belligerent, so recaltricant, so bad-mannered, so vulgar and so boorish!!  I will rejoice and have better peace of mind the day she leaves as she has caused havoc and upheaval in my family life.  It has distressed me to discover my father-in-law who needs assistance to move around being at her mercy on a daily basis. The poor soul!!!

Whenever she's dealing with my father-in-law during his baths, she takes on a different personality (I wish I know the reasons/explanation to this).  She's like a woman possessed. It was like as though a satan or devil took over her body during such times. She would be screaming her head off, very aggressive and would even kick and slammed the toilet door.

And I, for one, do not want my father-in-law to be a further victim of this crude, uncouthed, uneducated, and ungrateful maid.  She has been downright rude and shows no respect to an employer and to an old person.

I'm counting the days when she disappears from my life, my family life and most important of all, from my father-in-law's life!!