I wish I was here...

and here...

and here too...

If only

In life, there are many appealing and delightful days. And then, there are ‘those days’.  Those days when my vitality is riled or peeved. And that's when I question everything I know to be true. Yesterday was one of  ‘those days’.

If only God had blessed me with a little more drawing skills
I would paint the world a little differently
If only I'm a little bit more talented
I'd sketch a beautiful and picturesque landscape

If only this was a figment or illusion
The implausible can be plausible
And the joyless days would be heaven-sent days

Alas, this is not a fantasy
This is reality
Where life can be mean to you
Each day is an eternal struggle
Where daily challenges crop up
Where you get stabbed in the back
and have a door slammed right in your face
And you're left wondering "Why?"

If only this was a hallucination
People would be walking in the rain
Everyone would be smiling
There'll be lots of hugging
But that is so rare
Coz most people don't really care

If only this was a fiction
We can undo the past and make every moment last
There would be no tears
Nor would there be fears

If only you don't have to wake up from your fantasy
From those beautiful dreams which make you deliriously happy
If only you can sleep off the pain and let it evaporate
Wishing it would disappear as you have no more tears to shed
All the good has gone away but you wished it would not dissipate
If only............

If only. These must be the two saddest words in the world.

Random Thoughts

Since I completed my translation project last Thursday (20 January), I've been out of the house practically every day. It was as if it was payback time. It appeared as though I've been released from the shackles of imprisonment and insanity. In actual fact, it was "imprisonment" the last 4 months as I was not able to go anywhere (unless it was a matter of life and death, as a matter of fact, I lost my father-in-law in the midst of my translation assignment) and was hospitalized for a week for a bout of severe asthma attack.

Hence, the minute I completed the translation, it was a huge relief. It was as if the world's problems were cleared from my shoulders.

In any case, since Friday, 21 January, I've been going out, either for appointments with friends or with my husband and family. It feels really good. It may sound crazy, but it's been a record week for me. I've been going out for 7 consecutive days.

Last Friday, 28 January, yet again, I took the train to meet my friends, some of whom I've not met the last 16 years. It felt really good.

Malaysian Apathy - hugely overstated
And since I no longer had Kedah Civil Service polluting my brain, I had more time to enjoy the surroundings, and made several interesting observations. When I was in the train, I felt really proud of a young fellow Malaysian commuter who gave up her seat for an almost-term pregnant lady who was with her young daughter. Kudos to her!! And if I thought that Malaysian apathy is still rearing its ugly head, I was once again proven wrong.

When I alighted from the train, there was a blind man, who was obviously groping his way. And, without hesitation, a man guided him to the escalator.

I was left to my thoughts as I crossed the road towards the KLCC train line. And again I was happy to see a construction worker holding the elbows of a blind man from the Sri Petaling station and brought him across the KLCC line station at Masjid Jamek. Hey, who says Malaysians are indifferent???

And I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw yet another blind man being guided up the LRT staircase by someone. Now, that's 4 cases of exemplary Malaysians that I saw within a span of 10-15 minutes. This bode well for our society. Kudos to the three men and young lady!!!

The power of advertisement
When I was in the train, I was seated next to a little girl and her mum, and as the train rumbled along, suddenly I heard the little girl screaming in glee!! At first I could not make out what she was saying, but later realised that she was pointing to a Mr Potato advertisement. She kept exclaiming, "Mummy, mummy!!! That's your potato!!!". Most of the passengers (me included) were trying our best to contain our laughter. I can bet you that the girl's mum LOVES Mr Potato!!!

And I fully understood the power of advertisement when a little boy who was holding his mum's hand stopped in his tracks, and kept pointing to yet another Mr Potato advertisement. "Mummy! Mummy!! I want that. I want Mr Potato!" And his mum kept cajoling him that she'll buy it for him later. And as I passed by the boy and his mum, I had to stifle my laughter, when the boy suddenly blurted, "Mummy, mummy, do you have money to buy Mr Potato?" Children, they are so innocent, and they are such joy to be with!!!

Help!!! My baby is falling!!!
And, still chuckling and feeling amused with the scene before me, I walked along heading towards KLCC as I was supposed to meet my friends, some of whom I've not met for 16 years. And this time, I was really tickled pink when I saw a pregnant lady (she was perhaps 5 to 6 months pregnant). She was clutching her lower abdomen, holding it for her dear life as she walked. I've seen pregnant ladies doing this a couple of times, where they would clutch their lower abdomen, it was as if they were worried that their foetus would fall off their uterus. I guess, that's what you'd call maternal instinct.

And with all these random happenings crossing my thoughts today, I embraced my long-lost friends. It was so good to see them again after all these years.