Sunday, October 31, 2010

What are you to your.....

What are you to your little bundle of joy?

What are you to my broken heart?

Safe heaven?
Band aid?

What are you to your society and community?
Rock of Gibraltar?

What are you to me?
Comy Bolster?
Sugar and Spice?
And Everything nice?

Friday, October 29, 2010

I was lonely...and you weren't

Living in a House Full of Love

_..._ ..._(... (  ...).._
(_....__..._) _(.. (  ...)
/ / / / | \\ \\ \
/ /  /  /  | \  \\ \
´´´, •♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥
´´´¢ /Λ\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\♥♪♥♥♪♥♥♪♥♪♥♥♪♥♪♥
´´¢ /.....\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\♥♪♥♪♥♥♪♥♪♥♥♪♥♪♥♪♥
´¢ / ۩ _\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥♪♥

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat....(As clever as the squirrel hops, it will one day, eat dirt)

Yesterday, during my English class, a student shared with me her anguish and torment. And when I heard it, not only was I troubled, I was stumped too. Words couldn't begin to describe my utter amazement.

She had thought that what she was going to share with me would only happen in movies, in dramas, on TV, or at the cinemas. Never in her wildest dream did she imagine it would happen to someone close to her, or that it would happen in real life.

What she related is truly sad and demonstrated the decline in values amongst youngsters these days. This heart-rending story is about her second cousin, who is from Semporna, Sabah.

This girl is a bright and intelligent student. After doing fairly well in her STPM and scoring in her MUET exam, she was accepted into one of the IPTAs to do Human Resources. She's now in her second year, which means next year, she is supposed to go up stage to receive her scroll, a piece of prized paper yearned by many, but not within everyone's means. Being bright and intelligent, she thought she may as well capitalize on this God-given blessings.

Despite getting a study loan from PTPN, she cajoled her poor parents into parting with their hard-earned income by lying to them that she needed the money to finance her assignments/projects outside of the university, which is in Perak.

Her parents who are in Semporna, Sabah live in poverty. Their house is dilapidated and they are surrounded by squalor. They work hard at their farm to support their huge family. And with their eldest child now in University and supposedly their beacon in future, they step-up their back-breaking toiling at the farm by doing odd jobs at the village to supplement their paltry income.

Apparently, this girl had no qualms lying through her teeth and cheating her parents of their hard-earned meager and measly income by demanding RM200 to RM500 a week to support her so-called assignments/projects. Her mum diligently sent money to her every week thinking how badly her daughter needed the money.

Two days ago, my student, who is listed as the girl's emergency contact received a call from the university. Utter shock couldn't begin to describe her agony and distress at that time. She went numb and limp upon receiving the call.

The girl, upon being admitted to the university, and for reasons only known to her,  had changed her parents' correspondence address to that of her own so that no correspondence goes to her parents.

And, all along, the parents who had assumed that the girl was busy doing her assignments/projects and coursework, was even busier having a ball of her time at pubs and night clubs. That's where she whiled away her time, and that's where she spent all her parents' hard-earned money as well as her PTPN loan, and that's where her life would change dramatically and tragically.

As the Malay saying goes, "Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua" is apt and spot-on to describe her stupidity and frivolousness. “Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat…(which when translated means "As clever as the squirrel hops, it will, one day, eat dirt"  is the Malay proverb which tells us that no matter how good and clever you are at wrongdoings, someday you’ll get caught for what you have done.

This scenario is fitting and appropriate to reflect her life. Her hey days at the pubs and night clubs where she was supposedly doing her assignments and projects and spending her parents' hard-earned paltry income came to a crushing and devastating end.

During one of her "drug-infused" and "busy-with-projects" merry-making and revelry at the pub, the police raided the place, and needless to say, she was caught, and tested positive for drugs.

If that is not shattering and devastating enough for my student, she was also told another heart-breaking piece of news by the University. The police is hot on her cousin's heel for a fraud case. It appears that she had forged some documents to enable her to buy a car, and to think this girl is only 21 years old!!!

And if this not bad enough, the girl was also caught for another crime, this time for breaking into her neighbour's house in Perak to steal money, for what I reckoned was to support her despicable drugs habits. And, all along, I thought only males (thousand apologies for this naive assumption) are capable of breaking into people's house!! Boy (no pun intended)!!! was I wrong!!!.

This truly depressing and tragic story brings to mind our roles as parents. Are we doing enough to monitor (especially when we we have to "release") our children to the outside world, far from the safe cocoons of our tender loving hands and care at home. Or, as parents, there is so much that we can do, and monitor.

Personally, I feel for the parents and my student, who is her cousin. My heart and soul goes to them. I grieve for them.

How can their daughter, who was supposed to be the beacon and the guiding light of the family, someone whom her parents had high hopes for, someone who was supposed to lift the family out of poverty and squalor, someone whom her community would regard as the symbol of hope and one they may be proud of, someone who was so naive and innocent at home turned out to be someone they hardly recognize anymore, someone who had betrayed their trust, someone who had deceived them, someone who had let the community and society down - how can it not be, when she had squandered her one precious chance of a tertiary education, that one spot at the university which is much-coveted and sought after by other deserving students!!!

And, what is especially sad is the stark fact that, not only had she destroyed her own future, she had also wrecked whatever glimmer of hope her parents and family had of her and their future....

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hanya semalam

Di manakah aku
Aku tidak mengenali tempat ini
Ianya terlalu sejuk, beku dan kaku
Tempat ini terlalu bersih, hingar bingar dan riuh
Bagaimana orang mampu tidur di tempat ini

Baru semalam aku berada di rumah
Tolong kejutkan aku

Kenapakah aku berada di sini?
Aku tidak mampu mengingati apa-apapun
Ketakutan menghantui ku
Mak, Ayah..apakah yang telah terjadi padaku
Wajah kamu - oh... kenapa kamu tampak terlalu tua
Kenapa wajahmu tealh dimamah usia?
Hanya semalam kamu masih muda remaja

Di manakaah anak perempuanku? Aku menyapa seorang wanita
Dia kelihatan seperti aku kenali
"Akulah anakmu," dia menyahut

Oh...aku kebingungan
Hanya semalam - dia adalah seorang bayi

Apakah maksudmu bahawa dia sudah tiada lagi?
Hanya semalam aku berbual dan bermesra dengannya
Tolong...kenapakah aku tidak mampu bangun?
Tolong kejutkan diriku ini
Pasti, ini hanyalah suatu mimpi

Semuanya kelihatan pelik dan ganjil
Hanya semalam semuanya masuk akal

Rumahku - oh rumahku
Kenapa ia kelihatan ganjil
Oh...kenapa perabotnya kelihatan lain
Kenapa susunaturnya tidak sama
Apakah yang telah terjadi pada rumahku

Aku memasang penggera waktu
Untuk mengejutkanku dari mimpi ngeri ini
Oh..itu lah bunyi penggera untuk ku bangun
Tapi...kenapa aku masih tidak mampu bangun?

Adakah kehidupan ini suatu anugerah?
Adakah ianya suatu kurniaan?
Oh..biarkan aku terus tidur
Biarkakn aku lena dibuai mimpi
Pabila aku bangun
Pasti, ianya Hanya Semalam...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

All in a day's work for a Blogging and Facebooking Housewife

Today, I'm really swarmed with unfinished work!!! However that does not mean that I'm less busy on other days.

My day today began with offering my prayers to Allah. Soon after, I went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for my boys. Right after the boys have left the house (school and work), I began to prepare for lunch. As my husband is still away in Iran until early next week, it's just me and the boys.

Today, I am determined to cook early as there are just too many things on my plate. Despite a hectic schedule ahead of me, I managed to whip up Kari Kepala Ikan, Ikan Masak Sambal, Kerabu Kerang and Tauge, Sambal Belacan, Kentuck Fried Mushroom and Begadel Daging. Wow!!! What a huge array of food. Sometimes, when the cooking spirit overwhelms me, I will whip up several dishes to my heart's content. Alas, these days, very seldom am I overpowered by this spirit.....

Once I've cleaned up the kitchen, there was the laundry to be hung, and a few other household chores to be completed before I sat down to tackle my numerous tasks.

I'm in the midst of translating a PhD thesis for a relative. This is a tough one as I need to translate the text from Malay into English. There's 9 sections altogether and I've only completed up to Section 4 (Chapter 2). Each section is averagely 40 pages. It's no mean feat.

I've been breathing and inhaling this thesis for the last 6 weeks. I can't wait to complete this, despite translation being something I'm addicted to. I'm actually getting quite sick and tired as I have very little time to relax. These days, I don't even have time to watch the TV. The minute I hit the pillow, I'm immediately transported to lalaland!!!

And I also have to proofread a book which I translated a couple of months back for an overseas publisher, "You Can Be the Happiest Woman in the World". And this has to be done meticulously. Seldom am I the translator/Editor/Proofreader all rolled into one. But for this project, they have entrusted me with this responsibility.

Apart from these two major assignments, I also have to prepare a proposal for 3 Business English training that I need to conduct in November, namely Effective Communication - Beginner, Effective Communication - Intermediate and Effective Business Writing - Intermediate. The proposal covers the Class Schedule plus the Course Outline (up to press time, I've completed 2 of the Proposals) and need to fine-tune the last one before submitting them tomorrow.

These tasks are over and above my weekly classes at Glenmarie which I have to prepare beforehand and my twice a week English classes which I conduct at home.

And, today, I finally managed to make inroads into my enquiry for our (my husband and I) Umrah trip. We are slated to perform our Umrah in mid December, Insyallah.

Sometimes, I marvel at myself for managing to juggle my time wonderfully. Although I'm usually spent at the end of the day, I feel contented and happy that I can achieve so many things, and all these in a day's work for a Blogging and Facebooking Housewife!!!

Doaku Harapanku

 I expect to pass through this life but once.
Therefore, if there be any kindness I can show,
or good thing I can do for another human being,
let me do it now,
for I shall not pass this way again.
- William Penn

Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami
Jadikanlah kami hambaMu yang bertaqwa
Ampunkanlah dosa-dosa kami
Dan dosa-dosa kedua ibu bapa kami
Dan juga dosa semua umat Islam yang masih hidup
atau yang telah meninngal dunia
......... Amin

Ya Allah, doaku adalah supaya kami sekeluarga dilindungi olehMU 
Doaku adalah supaya perkahwinanku dipelihara dan dikekalkan sehingga akhir hayat.
Doaku adalah supaya anak-anakku berjaya dalam apa jua yang mereka ceburi
dan ditetapkan iman mereka
dan dibuka hati mereka untuk mengerjakan segala suruhanMu
dan meninggalkan segala laranganMu.

Ya Allah, harapanku adalah supaya kami sekeluarga dimatikan dalam keimanan,
dipanjangkan umur,
dan dijauhkan dari segala azab sengasara dunia akhirat,
dijauhkan dari mahluk jahat, samada yang kecil atau yang besar
dan moga-moga kami dipelihara olehMU di dunia dan di akhirat.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Exotic fruits...............

Different people have different tastes and likings for fruits. What's delicious or appealing to you may not be that appealing or palatable to me, or vice-versa. What's my definition of exotic fruits?

Top of my list is the King of Fruits - Durians.

Oh...durians are simply heavenly. The skin may be thorny but the taste..oh's a different story altogether.

And a close second is Rambutans,

followed by Mangosteens.

As far as I'm concerned, my idea of exotic fruits strictly revolves around tropical, fruits which can be easily and abundantly found in Malaysia, almost throughout the year.

Apart from these three fruits, I'm also passionate about the following luscious and mouth-watering fruits:


Duku langsat


Longan or Mata Kuching

Jack fruit





Jambu Air




Dragonfruit or Nuah Naga (Pitaya)

Banana (especially Pisang Rastali)

Pisang kaki

Passionfruits or Buah Susu

When I was growing up, in the early days when I was still residing in Singapore, we used to eat plenty of oranges and apples. Alas, I find these two fruits the most unappealing. They used to be dirt cheap in Singapore. Those days, in the 70's, for S$1, you can get 15-20 apples or oranges!!! Today, an apple can cost you RM1. Those were the days.

Exotic fruits...hmmmmm...the above fruits fit to a T and match my billing of what is meant by Exotic Fruits!!!

Stop and smell the roses

25 October 2010, Monday

Hey Wan
Where you going in such a hurry?
Don't you think it's time you realized
There's a whole lot more to life than work and worry
The sweetest things in life are free
And there right before your eyes

You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Before you went to work this morning in the city
Did you spend some time with your family?
Did you kiss your husband and tell him that he's lovely
Did you hug your children to your breast and love them tenderly

You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Did you ever take a walk through the forest
Stop and dream a while among the trees
Well you can look up through the leaves right straight to heaven
You can almost hear the voice of God
In each any every breeze

You got to Stop and Smell the Roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the Roses along the way

You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Wan, you're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Nukilan hati yang sepi

23 October 2010, Saturday, 9:54 p.m

Sedih dan sayu hati ini
Pabila kau mengatur langkah
meninggalkan kami

Tatkala kau mengucup dahiku
Dan aku mencium tanganmu
Air mataku mengalir tanpa disedari

Ketiadaanmu pasti ku rindui
Lantas ku akan menghitung hari 

Menanti dan terus menanti
Detik kita bersatu kembali

Ku menyusun sepuluh jari
Memohon kesejahteraanmu dari Ilahi
Ya Allah Ya Rabbi
Selamatkanlah perjalananmu nanti
Agar selamat pergi dan selamat kembali

Ya Allah, Ya Rabbulalamin
Tabahkanlah hati
HambaMu yang kerdil ini

WanKinsella@Lubukhatiku. 23 October 2010, 10:19 p.m

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?

19 October 2010, Tuesday

This was what I wrote on the morning of my birthday, but never got to complete it. Little that I know that the melancholy and despondency that I was feeling that morning was an ominous sign. I had a sense of foreboding that something terrible was going to happen, but had dismissed the feeling. It was my birthday, so I was supposed to be happy and rejoicing and be thankful to Allah for granting me another grace period. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of apprehension and dread.

16 October 2010, Saturday

"Sejuknya hati ini mendengar sayup2 bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang berkumandang di corong pembesar suara dari Surau As-Syakirin yang menghadap rumahku.

Terubat sedikit hati ini yang merasa sayu pada hari kelahiranku. Hari ini usiaku menjangkau 51 tahun. Aku tidak tahu mengapa pagi ini hatiku merasa amat syahdu. Malahan, air mata mengalir tanpa ku sedari.

Dengan jejeran air yang membasahi pipiku, fikiranku melayang lantas memikirkan bahawa sejak dua tahun yang lalu, aku telah menjadi anak yatim piatu setelah kehilangan ayahnda tercinta pada tanggal 12 Disember 2008. Aku menjadi anak yatim semasa ibu pergi meninggalkanku 10 tahun yang lalu pada 23 Ogos 2000.

Dan setahun yang lalu, dua hari sebelum umat Islam seronok menyambut lebaran, ibu mertuaku pula pergi meninggalkan kami menyambut panggilan Ilahi. Yang kini tinggal hanyalah ayah mertuaku yang telah dimamah usia, yang kini hanya duduk di kerusi roda tanpa banyak bicara.

Usianya yang melebihi 87 tahun telah mengurangkan daya ingatannya. Dia tidak lagi seperti dulu. Dia tidak lagi seceria bapa yang kukenali semasa awal perkahwinanku. Dia amat menyayangi anak-anaknya, menantu-menantunya dan cucu-cucunya. Kini, dia tidak lagi mengenali kami. Namun, sekali sekala, kami mendengar teriakannya memanggil nama suamiku (Amir) dan "Sayang", panggilan manjanya untuk arwah ibu mertuaku.

Malahan, dia langsung tidak menunjukkan sebarang rekasi semasa duduk di sebelah katil hospital ibu mertuaku tatkala ibu tenat dan nazak, meskipuun tangannya merangkul erat dan mengusap jari jemari ibu mertuaku. Semasa ibu mertuaku dikafankan dan sebelum ditutup mukanya buat kali terkahir, dia masih tidak mengetahui bahawa mayat yang terbujur kaku itu adalah isterinya, isteri yang amat dicintainya.

Saban hari, bapa mertuaku hanya bersandar di kerusi roda dan termenung. Dia sekadar menunggu dan menunggu.

Aku masih mengelamun. Teringat apakah masih ada hari esok buatku setelah mengecapi 51 tahun hidup di dunia ini. Adakah memadai ilmu di dada ini untuk meniti masa hadapan yang lebih getir lagi? Adakah aku telah bersedia menghadapi alam barzakh? Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?

Adakah aku sudah bersedia? Ya Allah, betapa takutnya aku menghadapi kematian tanpa bekalan takwa ...

Lamunanku terhenti. Tersentak hatiku yang jauh mengelamun apabila terdengar suamiku menyapa "Sayang, get ready. We'll leave by 12 coz the place (where we were going for my birthday lunch) will be packed if we don't go early."

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Present

15 October 2010, Friday

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank. It is called TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health,
happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

That's why it's called the present!!

͂ Value has a value only if its value is valued ͂

15 October 2010, Friday

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.You must understand that and strive for it.

Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest.

Value has a value only if its valued.
- Bryan Dyson, Former CEO of Coca Cola -

Poetry in motion

15 October 2010, Friday

Every cloud has a silver lining...

15 October 2010, Friday

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Stop wallowing in self pity!!!

14 October 2010, Thursday

~ The truth is that our finest moments 

are most likely to occur when we are feeling 

deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.

For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, 

that we are likely to step out of our ruts 

and start searching for different ways or truer answers. ~

So, old girl, get going, start moving. And stop wallowing in self pity!!!

The cry of my heart...

14 October 2010, Thursday

"Be careful if you make a woman cry, because Allah s.w.t counts her tears. A woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior over, but from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

Cukuplah Allah s.w.t bagiku

14 Oktober 2010, Khamis

Titik gelap dalam kehidupan

14 October 2010, Thursday

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


13 October 2010, Wednesday