26 Years of Combined Forces

31 July 2009

My soulmate a.k.a hubby and I had left for KLIA to take a flight to Langkawi on 31 July 2009 as hubby had to attend a meeting at Andaman.

And because we did not have any opportunity to celebrate our anniversary on 29 July 2009 (I had an appointment at HUKM which I couldn't change; and my husband had an important meeting to attend, and was not free to take leave), this trip was supposed to be a treat for me to celebrate my 26th anniversary.

And it was really a pleasant surprise for me when my husband had booked a first class airline ticket for me, despite me commenting earlier that the economy flight to Langkawi was already quite expensive. I had wanted to fly Air Asia.  He brushed off my concerns by saying that it was his anniversary treat for me. Thanks Sayang.

I recalled staying at the Andaman hotel a couple of years back and recalled quite distinctly that Andaman was located at a secluded spot, actually nestled at the edge of Langkawi, far from the hotspots in Langkawi.

And true enough, the taxi driver (we later found out his name was Nordin) told us that the journey from Padang Mat Sirat (where the airport is located) is about 50 minutes to Andaman. Oh boy, I was thinking, there goes my plan to shop while my hubby slogs in his management meeting.

And as my husband knew how helpless I would be, fending for myself and given the distance to the shopping area, he decided that we go to Kuah town using the same cab driven by Nordin right after we checked in.

The interior of the hotel room - spacious and welcoming

 

Nordin waited for us as we checked in, and after we had changed our clothes into something more comfortable. Soon after, we left for Kuah town, the happening place in Langkawi. And for this trip to Langkawi, I had told my husband that I would like to buy a couple of household stuff which I had badly wanted before.

I had visited Langkawi many times before and the only stuff I had bought before had been chocolates.  I, for one, couldn't fathom why people, especially women, go crazy whenever they are in Langkawi. And why women like to buy household stuff. At that time, I thought they were wasting their time as the same stuff could be easily bought in KL.  Why bother lugging those stuff all the way from Langkawi to KL??

As it was a Friday, most of the shops were closed.  But thank God, most shops in Kuah were opened. Our first stop was the mall in Kuah as I wanted to buy a digital camera.

My favourite Sony Cybershot camera had been hijacked by my daughter, Ina. And later, I was persuaded into buying a mini DSLR, another Sony brand as a replacement.  But because the camera is quite bulky, and quite heavy, and also not small enough to put in my handbag, it was not convenient for me to carry it around. Hence, my excuse to buy another small digital camera. (wanna learn this trick from me????)

So, while Nordin hung around, we shopped for a camera in the mall. We were fortunate as we found a shop which is very customer-friendly. We finally settled for a Canon Digital Ixus 100 15 camera, after much haggling and deliberation. I fell in love with the red Canon.  The purchase was actually a steal (as we later found out).

 

The price we paid was for the camera, mini tripod, camera case, and an upgraded memory card.  And  they even threw in a spare battery at a cheap price (RM99).  The original price was RM199. Subsequent enquiries at the Langkawi airport enroute to KL found that the same camera cost the same price, but without all the add-ons. We were mighty thankful that we had bought that camera in Kuah.

And later, Nordin brought us to a row of shops (the name of the shop was Mohammed, I think), where we bought Prestige pressure cooker, two non-stick pans with cover, knives/scissors set, beautifully designed trays and coasters (I just love the trays and coasters design as they're modern, vogue and contemporary), and plenty of chocolates.

All the stuff we bought were a fraction of the prices we had to pay had we bought them in KL, especially the chocolates. So we bought lots of chocolates as the choices were aplenty.

Now I know why shoppers, especially women go berserk in Langkawi.

We later stopped by one of the stalls in the mall to have a late lunch.  I bought something to eat for dinner. We actually had to rush back as my husband's meeting would commence at 8:00 p.m.

And after he left for the meeting, I was left all alone in the big spacious room. And as my husband's meeting lasted till midnight, I was deep asleep by the time he tiptoed back to the room. And it was the same the next day.  His meeting lasted the entire day, with a break after 5:30 p.m and resumed after dinner.

You must be wondering what kind of an aniversary it was.  Believe me, I enjoyed every minute of it.  I enjoyed the solitude.  I enjoyed being away from the hustle bustle of KL.  I enjoyed the reprieve.

When he came back for the break, he had insisted that we go to the beach.  I was quite reluctant.  I was quite contented being cooped up in the room, surfing the net, and posting my blogs (at that time, I had just started blogging). But he had been adamant saying that it would be such a waste had I just spent my anniversary, whiling away in the room, facing the four walls, facing the TV and facing the laptop.

After much cajoling on his part, I finally relented.  If truth be told, I'm usually extremely lazy to go out anywhere once I'm with my husband in hotels simply because I'm just too lazy to don the scarf, and have to dress up to go out... What a lame excuse!!! My husband had commented.

And boy, I did not, for one second, regretted adhering to my husband's request to take a walk with him to the beach.  The pathway leading to the beach was simply awesome and the beach was breathtaking. And most of all, I enjoyed the short walk from the hotel room, walking hand in hand with my husband.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love the lush garden with greeneries all around the hotel.  It's really spectacular and magnificent.

And what was most astounding was I even managed to catch a little squirrel peeking out of the tree. It was as though it knew that I was going to take its shot and it posed for me before scurrying up the tree again.

 

It's a shot I'll always remember.......... Awesome!!!

And we later sat at the garden fronting the beach. I was really happy to be there - quiet surrounding, lush trees, and you can hear the waves lashing the sea, perfect atmosphere and environment for a wedding anniversary........

 

 

 

 

 

And I also managed to capture some splendid shots of nature.  These are among my favourites.

My all-time favourite

 

 

 

 

And later we proceeded to the beach.  There are very few beaches in Malaysia that can boast of clear blue water and clean white, pristine sand. I must say Langkawi is one of them.

 

And as we walked back, I discovered something interesting on the cemented floor, along the pathway from the lush garden to the hotel room.

Patterned leaves

Animal Footprints

And if you look closely, 

the water around the paws made the shape look somewhat like the face of a bear

Really astounding!

 

 

It's one anniversary which had left an inedible mark in my memory. Mir, I love you sayang for having me as your wife, the last 26 years.

What You See Is What You Get (WYSWIG)

6 October 2009, Tuesday (17 Syawal) 

Have you ever wondered why human beings can be so docile and meek on one instance and the next second can turn aggressive, hostile, destructive and violent? I wish someone could explain to me this syndrome or phenomena. I wish I have the answer. I wish I know how to deal with such situations better in future.

Could people like this be suffering from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, particularly the latter as they suffer from apparent mood swings and bipolar-like states. 

 

I suspect my current maid suffers from schizoaffective disorder, as her mood swings and changes at the flick of a finger. She can be very courteous, very meek and docile at one instance, and change into a woman possessed by the devil or satan at the next instance.  She sometimes scares me to death.

 

 

 

 

 

There are many people who have spoken strongly about foreign maids. I always likened getting a maid to lucky draws. You may be wondering why I say this. If you think and ponder very carefully, you'd definitely agree with me.

When you go to the maid agency and tell them the profile you require they would give you several profiles that they reckon will match what you require. 

And you wait for several weeks before the maid arrives. And the day she arrives, you welcome her with a deep sense of apprehension. 

Would she be okay?  Would she be respectful of you and your household? Would she be able to meet all your requirements (despite the beautifully inflated profile)? 

Would she be able to work under pressure?  Would she be able to handle your kids?  Would she treat your kids well?  Would she be able to take care of your mum or dad? Would she know how to cook? 

Would she be moody? Would she be able to adapt to your customs and culture given she comes from a totally different environment and background. Would she be able to adapt to your style? Would she stay long with you?

Would she gossip with the neighbours or anyone else who cares to listen to her?  Would she be docile?  Would she be meek?  Or would she be aggressive?  Would she be violent and hurt your family members? Would she abuse your kids or your loved ones? 

Or is she suffering from schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder? Is the disorder lurking within her without it being noticed by anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And once she comes on board, you will only know her true colours after she has served you for a couple of months. And at that time, you will remember with distinct recollection why I've likened getting a maid to getting a lucky draw.  

If you're extremely unlucky, you'll get a schizoaffective disorder maid like mine, or one with similar problems or with other problems, could be health, could be mental, could be physical. No one in their right mind (both maids and agents included) would reveal any deficiencies that are afflicting the maids. When it comes to getting a maid, it is WYSWIG - What You See Is What You Get.

But if you're very lucky, you'll get likeable and wonderful maids, like all the other maids I've had before. 

Perhaps, I should come to terms with the fact that not every time I would be lucky.  Being lucky three times out of four times is not such a bad situation.............. 

 

 

I've Had It With This Cantankerous and Loud-Mouthed Maid!!!

5 October 2009, Monday (16 Syawal)

SPRING CLEANING
Today, I decided to do spring cleaning of my family hall on the upper floor of my house.  I've been meaning to do this since I retired but never got the chance to do it due to other commitments.

It's interesting to discover the things you and your family members keep, and when it's time for spring cleaning, there would be bound to be things that you would want to throw away without hesitation (even though you had decided to keep that during the last spring cleaning); and things that you think, ponder, muse, mull over, and contemplate numerous times before you come to a conclusion on what to be thrown away; and there would also be things where, try as you might, you just cannot bear to part with.

I was in the same dilemma today, but looking at the mountains of rubbish I had thrown away, I think I've made inroads in terms of what I've thrown away and what I've decided to keep, i.e throw 70%, keep 30%, until the next spring cleaning.....

STARK-RAVING CANTANKEROUS MAID
And it was while I was doing the spring cleaning on the upper floor of my house, that I heard a commotion coming from downstairs. And as I tried to listen more carefully, I heard my maid's increasingly loud voice scolding and disparaging my father-in-law.

This is actually not the first time she has been doing this. But what is amazing about this maid is the fact that she would put on her best behaviour when she's dealing with my father-in-law whenever my husband and I are downstairs, and whenever we are within earshots.  But whenever she thinks I'm in my room and when my husband is at work, all hell would break loose. When she spent Raya with my sister-in-law in Bangi, she also stifled her true colours. She was on her best behaviour without "a hair out of place".

And after I retired, I could hear her screaming and disparaging the poor soul incessantly. In fact she had complained to my sister-in-law that she did not get any scolding from me when I was still working, but now that I'm at home, she gets a fair scolding from me.  What a lame complaint!!!

And I had posed this question to my sister-in-law, "Can you imagine how she had been treating bapak in my absence?" "Can you imagine how bapak had suffered in my absence when I was working?" "Imagine, even when I'm at home, she has the audacity and the nerve to abuse him, right under my nose!!"

And this verbal and sometimes physical abuses usually happened when she's giving him his bath.  Old folks being old folks would have their own set ways of doing things.

And this maid who's just an employee would try to impose her style on my father-in-law.  Of course, there are bound to be clashes. And today, was no different.

She had assumed that I was cooped up in my bedroom , so she hadn't realised that I was listening to her tirade, and I could hear banging and shouting in the bathroom.  And a short while later, my father-in-law's cry for help, "Help!! Help!!!. And still not satisfied with her tirade and physical abuse (God knows what she did), she further roared when she came out of the bathroom. "Stupid!!! Stupid old man!!" And, at that time, I snapped!!!

I rushed down and asked her what was happening and queried her why she had verbally and physically abused my father-in-law and why she was so rude calling him stupid!.  And you'd not believe her reaction. Instead of being remorseful and apologetic, she had scolded me and continued screaming at my father-in-law. Can you imagine how belligerent she is!!! Urghhh....

While still seething with anger and trying to control and contain my temper, I had sent an sms to both my sister-in-law and my husband relating to them what had just taken place.

When I was sending that sms, I could hear her still muttering and scolding my poor father-in-law. And a short while later, I could hear her rising loud-mouthed and irritating voice again.  And I was wondering if she had gone berserk again.  But when I listened closely, I realised she was talking to my sister-in-law.  And of course, her version of it had been twisted to suit her side of the story. And she even had the audacity to dramatize the whole situation by crying pitifully.

After my sister-in-law had spoken to my crazy maid, she called me. She related what I had partly heard and deduced.  I had just told her to weigh it for herself and posed these questions to her, "Would a man, despite suffering from dementia relate an action that the maid had whacked him on the head if she hadn't done that? " "And would a man cry out in pain and screamed for help if the maid has not been hurting him?"

I've had a maid since I was carrying my first child in 1984.  At that time I was 4 months pregnant, but was a very naive mother-to-be. Despite working, I hadn't even thought about who would look after my son after he was born.  It was my late mum who had posed this question to me and was the one who actually looked into finding a maid for me so that someone could take care of my son when I was at work.  How very naive I was at that time!!

And  she found a local girl by the name of Rasmah. Rasmah came from Gurun and was 29 years old when she first came to work for my family. She stopped working for us at the age of 47 years old.

You may be wondering whether I've made a mistake in the age. No, I've not!! She had served us for 18 long solid years.  If I've not been a good and reasonable employer, would my maid have stayed with my family for 18 long years?  She was good and we treated her like a family. And she gets expensive presents during her birthdays and special occasions. And Rasmah loved all my four kids to a fault, like her own (She was married once before but never had children).  My kids get far more expensive presents from her for their birthdays compared to the ones we gave them.  She doted on each and everyone of them, especially my youngest son. 

She only left us when someone came to ask for her hand in marriage and she accepted the proposal and settled down with him. God bless her and her new life!.

And my second maid Tuti stayed for 3 years.  She left after my mum passed away. And the third maid lasted six long years. This maid was given gold for every birthday and she even went on vacation with us.

But this current maid.... my..oh my..... She tests my patience to the limit. And today was the last straw.  At the earliest opportunity we are packing her off to where she belongs.

I've never had a maid who is so belligerent, so recaltricant, so bad-mannered, so vulgar and so boorish!!  I will rejoice and have better peace of mind the day she leaves as she has caused havoc and upheaval in my family life.  It has distressed me to discover my father-in-law who needs assistance to move around being at her mercy on a daily basis. The poor soul!!!

Whenever she's dealing with my father-in-law during his baths, she takes on a different personality (I wish I know the reasons/explanation to this).  She's like a woman possessed. It was like as though a satan or devil took over her body during such times. She would be screaming her head off, very aggressive and would even kick and slammed the toilet door.

And I, for one, do not want my father-in-law to be a further victim of this crude, uncouthed, uneducated, and ungrateful maid.  She has been downright rude and shows no respect to an employer and to an old person.

I'm counting the days when she disappears from my life, my family life and most important of all, from my father-in-law's life!!

Tini, Your House Seemed Different After Mak's Demise

4 October 2009, Sunday (15 Syawal)

Today we went to visit my sister-in-law, Tini and her family at her house in Bangi after we had lunch at Village View restaurant, also in Bangi.

It's the first time we are seeing her again after we dropped off my father-in-law at her house during Raya, and after Mak passed away 2 days before Raya.

So it was kind of emotional when my husband and Tini embraced each other. I could see tears brimming both their eyes after that emotional embrace.

And her house seemed kind of different this time around. It was eerily quiet and empty despite everyone being at home.

Normally, the house would be quite noisy, with Mak's chatters. Even though her chatters seemed to be quite unintelligible the last few months before her demise, it really had livened up the house when she was alive. And despite suffering from dementia, she was a hilarious woman. She had always been a jovial and fun person.

And today, there was no such chatters.  There was no laughter from us.  There was no hilarious antics from Mak. Mak, we miss you.

And a short while later, I walked to Mak's room.  Tini had kept the room intact.  Mak's clothes, Mak's bed, Mak's small TV, Mak's wheelchair and Mak's personal belongings were still kept as though Mak was still alive.

 

 

 

It brought tears to my eyes as I surveyed the room. Mak, I could feel your presence in the room. It's hard to believe that you had left us 17 days ago. I quickly walked out of the room as by then I was too overcame with emotion.

And, before we left, I had requested for Mak's Baju Kedah.  And Tini had been kind enough to give me not only Mak's Baju Kedah but also one of her sarongs.

I wanted to keep these as momento, to remind me of my short time with Mak, to remind me that Mak was just on loan to us.  And that Allah had taken her back to where she rightly belonged.

May Allah bless you, Mak.  Al-Fatihah.

Freed from My Cage

4 October 2009, Sunday (15 Syawal)

After hybernating for 6 days, without stepping out of my house, today, I was freed from my cage. It feels good to be out of the house again.  I've been floored by fever and flu and had remained practically in my bedroom the entire week.

Today, we decided to have lunch in Bangi as we wanted to visit my sister-in-law, Tini and her family, and later buy tenderloin beef at Madam Butcher, also in Bangi. My two elder boys accompanied my husband and I to Bangi. My youngest son, Khairi did not follow us as he wanted to attend his friend's Hari Raya do.

I had suggested that we try D'Tasik in Bangi for lunch as I've read favourable reviews about their seafood.  But we were disappointed to discover that the restaurant is closed for lunch. So we drove around Bangi and finally settled on Village View Restaurant, a restaurant tucked in a little corner close to several petrol stations.

We ordered Siakap Masak Tiga Rasa, Kangkong Belacan (my all-time favourite), Tomyam Campur, Telur Dadar and Ayam Masak Pedas.

The food was pretty good, in particular the Siakap Masak Tiga Rasa. The exterior was very crispy and the flesh was still juicy and tender.

The Kangkong Belacan wasn't too bad either but it was watery.  I had specifically told the waiter to make it dry, but as always, restaurants will never heed customers' request.  It came back rather watery.  Thank God the taste was quite pleasant.

 See all the gravy (water) around it which I really hate!

Nevertheless, I wasn't too excited about the other dishes, alhough my boys and husband seemed to enjoy the food.  The sambal belacan was a total disappointment as it was very watery.

The Ayam Masak Pedas was so-so for me, but my sons seemed to like it very much. Hence the reason for the saying...."One's man's Meat is Another Man's Poison".

And so was the Kerabu Mangga - it was a tad too bland for me.  There was no ooomphhhh!

And the Tomyam Campur was very mild for me, despite the tons of cili padis they have thrown in. I would have preferred for Tomyams to be spicier.

And the Telur Dadar was telur dadar.  Nothing exciting about it.

In any case, I was grateful and thankful that my husband had given us this treat given that I've been cooped up in my bedroom the last one week.  Today's outing had been a wonderful respite for me.