Yesterday I went all the way to Klang to pick up my new maid, a young Cambodian girl. This is the first time ever that I'm having a non-Indonesian maid.
If truth be told, I'm quite sick of having Indonesian maids as they've proven to be unreliable and caused me unnecessary duress and stress as proven the last 2 years. I hope I've said my last goodbye to these nightmare.
I fervently prayed to Allah that this Cambodian maid would be a good one and would not display the same traits as my previous Indonesian maid, a maid I nicknamed Lipstick Jungle Maid.
After the first day ordeal of talking like a chicken and a buffalo, she knows hardly any Malay nor English, and I DO NOT KNOW Cambodian at all, I began to realise something. Despite the ordeal of communicating with her and the hardship of trying to be understood by each other, I think we are both better off not knowing each other's language.
What is beautiful is the fact that she doesn't answer me back, nor said much. And I only issue minimal instructions with the aid of sign language. I think this will work well as I believe, less said, better outcome. And most importantly, due to the language impediment, I'm rest assured that she would find it very difficult and an uphill battle to chat with my super-friendly neighbours.
So far, on day 2, the chicken and rabbit had both survived!!!
Behind the hill of scarifice lies a golden paradise.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Dad's Mixed Emotions....hmmm... and Mum's too...
My husband was kind of agitated and restless last night. He was perturbed that he was not able to contact the love of his life (me....unfortunately no!)....
He is so used to talking and chatting with the apple of his eyes, his only princess that he finds it hard to believe that she is non-contactable for the next 6 days. By any kind of standard in my household that is a long period of non-communication.
Our little princess (hmmmm. if truth be told she's no longer little as she turned 21 last week, but in our eyes, she'd remain little) is attending a programme organised by her university for Muslim students.
She's currently marooned in Malacca. My last communication with her was on Monday, 27 Dec when she sent an sms to me to tell me that she had arrived safely in Malacca, followed by another sms to say that all the participants' phones would be confiscated and would only be returned after the programme. Nonetheless, she did leave a message saying that if there's any urgent matters, we should convey the message to one of the committee members.
Last night was only the second night that my husband was not able to talk to his little girl and he was already feeling miserable, depressed and wretched. With wry amusement, I'm trying to imagine his state of mind over the next couple of days, and I hope I'd be spared the brunt of his misery!!!
Last night, he was complaining incessantly and actually muttering the absurdity of the organisers confiscating their handphones!!! And I did remind him that he could still call the committee member if he really wanted to talk to his daughter. I was amused when he exclaimed, "I will even bash the committee member!" I had a good laugh.
As for me, of course I miss my little princess, but then again, I know someday, she'd leave her little nest and fly away to a strange place. She'd have her own life. Hence, this poem dedicated to our little princess:
How do Babah and Mama let go
Of the girl that mama has borne
How do we let her know
That our hearts can be so torn.
To keep her by our side
Would not be just or fair
And let her have a free ride
Would mean we don't care.
We know we taught her well
And that she knows right from wrong
Now...only time will tell
If she can be as strong.
But watching her go through the door
Make our feelings sway
We must cover our tears...and more
And pray for her each day
Of the girl that mama has borne
How do we let her know
That our hearts can be so torn.
To keep her by our side
Would not be just or fair
And let her have a free ride
Would mean we don't care.
We know we taught her well
And that she knows right from wrong
Now...only time will tell
If she can be as strong.
But watching her go through the door
Make our feelings sway
We must cover our tears...and more
And pray for her each day
That she'd be happy with with what lay for her in the horizon...
And deep in our hearts...
She'd always remain our little princess!!!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Nightmare before Christmas
The teh tarik in the tall mug which I made for myself that morning had turned cold. The multi-grain bread that I toasted had gone limp. The plates, cups and saucers (remnants of the breakfast which my husband and boys had for breakfast) remained unwashed in my kitchen sink.
My brain was in over-drive. The phrase "Nightmare before Christmas" kept playing and swarming my mind that morning. The day before I had had a heart-to-heart talk and discussion with one of my foreign students. We were talking about her impending marriage.
This student had been one of my favourite students when I was teaching English at one of the local colleges in town. She was very hardworking and was like a sponge. Whatever was imparted to her, she would absorb them fervently and enthusiastically. She was a fast and an eager learner. It was a joy teaching her. She has an exquisite face and much loved by her friends and lecturers alike.
As she is an orphan, she looks up to me like her own mum. She lost both her parents when she was four years old. Her parents had both been killed during the civil war in her country. They had been brutally murdered. She lived with foster parents during her growing-up years.
After completing her high school, she decided to leave her country and came to Malaysia to study English. That was when our paths crossed. As she is such a lovable and a likeable person, I've learnt to love her like my own. Two years ago, she met an awesome Malaysian who asked for her hands in marriage. Needless to say, she accepted. I could see how much she loves her beau.
I had offered to sponsor her wedding and hold the reception in my house. After all, none of my kids are anywhere near marriagedom... Naturally she was excited and was so very much looking forward to her wedding.
But when told that I was going to give up my room to enable her and her husband-to-be to use it as their wedding room (I was prepared to give it up for a couple of days, of course with the consent of my husband) she looked at me in disbelief and to my consternation and heartache had exclaimed "Mum, I can't use your room. It's just not right."
Tried as I might to cajole her to change her mind, she was adamant and insistent that she only used my daughter's much-smaller room as her wedding room. I was heart-broken, as I had wanted so much for her to use my room as it is more spacious and more comfortable.
I was puzzled and kept wracking my brain to find out her reasons for not wanting to use my room. After all, it's not everyday that you become a bride or Queen of the day. And I had wanted so much for her to feel special and be swathed in a little luxury.
As curiosity might kill a cat, and it might just kill me, I had called her up to find out the actual reasons why she was resolute and steadfast in her decision not to use my room. After a little bickering and nerve-wrecking moments (as it had turned into an almost heated discussion), she breathed into the phone and spoke in a whisper-like tone and told me "Mum, if I were to use your room, it'll be just like a Nightmare Before Christmas!"
I was flabbergasted and was rendered speechless!!! Nightmare before Christmas!!! Now I wonder what she meant. Alas, and sad to say, I never did find out as she went on to use my daughter's room for her wedding night, and since then, had left to visit her foster parents in her birth-country bringing along the love of her life plus her bundles of joy. God had blessed her with twins, a boy and a girl.
My darling "daughter", may Allah bless you and whatever your reasons were for rejecting the use of my room, you've left me wondering till today what you meant by "NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!"
My brain was in over-drive. The phrase "Nightmare before Christmas" kept playing and swarming my mind that morning. The day before I had had a heart-to-heart talk and discussion with one of my foreign students. We were talking about her impending marriage.
This student had been one of my favourite students when I was teaching English at one of the local colleges in town. She was very hardworking and was like a sponge. Whatever was imparted to her, she would absorb them fervently and enthusiastically. She was a fast and an eager learner. It was a joy teaching her. She has an exquisite face and much loved by her friends and lecturers alike.
As she is an orphan, she looks up to me like her own mum. She lost both her parents when she was four years old. Her parents had both been killed during the civil war in her country. They had been brutally murdered. She lived with foster parents during her growing-up years.
After completing her high school, she decided to leave her country and came to Malaysia to study English. That was when our paths crossed. As she is such a lovable and a likeable person, I've learnt to love her like my own. Two years ago, she met an awesome Malaysian who asked for her hands in marriage. Needless to say, she accepted. I could see how much she loves her beau.
I had offered to sponsor her wedding and hold the reception in my house. After all, none of my kids are anywhere near marriagedom... Naturally she was excited and was so very much looking forward to her wedding.
But when told that I was going to give up my room to enable her and her husband-to-be to use it as their wedding room (I was prepared to give it up for a couple of days, of course with the consent of my husband) she looked at me in disbelief and to my consternation and heartache had exclaimed "Mum, I can't use your room. It's just not right."
Tried as I might to cajole her to change her mind, she was adamant and insistent that she only used my daughter's much-smaller room as her wedding room. I was heart-broken, as I had wanted so much for her to use my room as it is more spacious and more comfortable.
I was puzzled and kept wracking my brain to find out her reasons for not wanting to use my room. After all, it's not everyday that you become a bride or Queen of the day. And I had wanted so much for her to feel special and be swathed in a little luxury.
As curiosity might kill a cat, and it might just kill me, I had called her up to find out the actual reasons why she was resolute and steadfast in her decision not to use my room. After a little bickering and nerve-wrecking moments (as it had turned into an almost heated discussion), she breathed into the phone and spoke in a whisper-like tone and told me "Mum, if I were to use your room, it'll be just like a Nightmare Before Christmas!"
I was flabbergasted and was rendered speechless!!! Nightmare before Christmas!!! Now I wonder what she meant. Alas, and sad to say, I never did find out as she went on to use my daughter's room for her wedding night, and since then, had left to visit her foster parents in her birth-country bringing along the love of her life plus her bundles of joy. God had blessed her with twins, a boy and a girl.
My darling "daughter", may Allah bless you and whatever your reasons were for rejecting the use of my room, you've left me wondering till today what you meant by "NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!"
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Selayang Hospital....what a pleasant surprise!!!
I was at Selayang Hospital today to visit an ex-colleague who had given birth to her first-born, a cute boy-bundle of joy.
This is the first time that I had visited Selayang Hospital, a government hospital. I must say I was pleasantly surprised.
The hospital came equipped with a large basement parking area and despite it being a Sunday and in spite of it being peak visiting hours, there was ample parking space and we had no difficulty at all finding a parking spot.
It was raining cats and dogs when we reached the hospital ground, and I was worried that we'd be stuck in the car, but when I saw the basement parking I was relieved. As I'm still recuperating from my chest infection, I didn't want to take any chances lest I caught the flu again.
Upon entering the hospital, we were greeted with wide open space which is a welcome relief and very welcoming.
The only snag was, unlike HUKM, their visiting hours on Sunday is rather inflexible and not hospital-friendly. At HUKM, on weekends, the visiting hours are from 12.30 to 7:00 p.m, whereas Selayang Hospital's evening visiting hours are from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.
My husband and I had arrived a little early, around 4:20 p.m, so we decided to go for tea at their cafeteria which is a also widely spaced out. And once again, I was pleasantly surprised that when you asked for Nescafe tarik, less sugar, they really served you with less sugar, unlike 99.9% of other eateries or food outlet which are highly generous with their portion of sugar.
As we still had some time to kill, we sat along the corridor. And I was amused when I saw a little Chinese toddler. She was so cute and bubbly and extremely friendly. She approached a Malay lady who was seated near us, and offered her cake.
And later she came back for it, and "salam" the lady. I thought she'd walk away after that, but, she actually stopped and "salam" all the others who were seated along the same row, including the janitor who was busy emptying the rubbish. In my experience, only Malay kids were taught to "salam" but this Chinese toddler was really unique and a sight to behold.
Just before 5:00 p.m we headed for the maternity ward which was equally well spaced out. Kudos to the government for having a great infrastructure. It changed my perception somewhat of drabby, dinghy, eerie and ancient looking government hospitals.
Upon reaching my ex-colleague's bed, I was excited to see her baby next to her. He was swaddled in all pink so I thought I must have misheard her when she said she had given birth to a baby boy!!!
Indeed, Syida confirmed that it's a boy!!! New-born babies being babies, he sleeps through all the din and noise at the ward. He looks so peaceful and contented being swaddled in the blanket, I reckoned the feeling of still being in his mummy's womb.
We left after spending a couple of minutes with Syida and her baby, Haikal. Heartiest congrats Syida. Happy mothering and breastfeeding!!!
This is the first time that I had visited Selayang Hospital, a government hospital. I must say I was pleasantly surprised.
The hospital came equipped with a large basement parking area and despite it being a Sunday and in spite of it being peak visiting hours, there was ample parking space and we had no difficulty at all finding a parking spot.
It was raining cats and dogs when we reached the hospital ground, and I was worried that we'd be stuck in the car, but when I saw the basement parking I was relieved. As I'm still recuperating from my chest infection, I didn't want to take any chances lest I caught the flu again.
Upon entering the hospital, we were greeted with wide open space which is a welcome relief and very welcoming.
The only snag was, unlike HUKM, their visiting hours on Sunday is rather inflexible and not hospital-friendly. At HUKM, on weekends, the visiting hours are from 12.30 to 7:00 p.m, whereas Selayang Hospital's evening visiting hours are from 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m.
My husband and I had arrived a little early, around 4:20 p.m, so we decided to go for tea at their cafeteria which is a also widely spaced out. And once again, I was pleasantly surprised that when you asked for Nescafe tarik, less sugar, they really served you with less sugar, unlike 99.9% of other eateries or food outlet which are highly generous with their portion of sugar.
As we still had some time to kill, we sat along the corridor. And I was amused when I saw a little Chinese toddler. She was so cute and bubbly and extremely friendly. She approached a Malay lady who was seated near us, and offered her cake.
And later she came back for it, and "salam" the lady. I thought she'd walk away after that, but, she actually stopped and "salam" all the others who were seated along the same row, including the janitor who was busy emptying the rubbish. In my experience, only Malay kids were taught to "salam" but this Chinese toddler was really unique and a sight to behold.
Just before 5:00 p.m we headed for the maternity ward which was equally well spaced out. Kudos to the government for having a great infrastructure. It changed my perception somewhat of drabby, dinghy, eerie and ancient looking government hospitals.
Upon reaching my ex-colleague's bed, I was excited to see her baby next to her. He was swaddled in all pink so I thought I must have misheard her when she said she had given birth to a baby boy!!!
Indeed, Syida confirmed that it's a boy!!! New-born babies being babies, he sleeps through all the din and noise at the ward. He looks so peaceful and contented being swaddled in the blanket, I reckoned the feeling of still being in his mummy's womb.
We left after spending a couple of minutes with Syida and her baby, Haikal. Heartiest congrats Syida. Happy mothering and breastfeeding!!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
When Death Knocked Upon a Bedroom Door
’Twas early in the morning at four. When
death knocked upon a bedroom door.
”Who is there?” the
sleeping one cried. ”I’m Izrael, let me inside.”
At once, the man began to shiver, as one sweating in deadly fever,
he shouted to
his sleeping wife, ”Don’t let him take away my life.”
”Please go away, O Angel of
Death! Leave me alone, I’m not ready yet.
My family on me
depend, give me a chance, O please prepense!”
The Angel knocked again and again, ”Friend!
I’ll take your life without a pain,
’Tis
your soul Allah require, I come not with my own desire.
Bewildered, the man began to cry, ”O Angel! I’m so afraid to die
I’ll give you gold and be
your slave, don’t send me to the unlit grave.”
”Let me in, O Friend!” the Angel said, ”Open the door, get up from your bed.
If
you do not allow me in,I will walk through it, like a Jinn.”
The man held a gun in
his right hand, ready to defy the Angel’s stand,
”I’ll point my gun, towards your head.
You dare come in, I’ll shoot you dead.”
By now, the Angel was in the room, Saying, “O Friend! prepare for your doom.
Foolish man, Angels
never die, Put down your gun and do not sigh.”
”Why are you afraid!
Tell me O man, to die according to Allah’s plan?
Come, smile
at me, do not be grim, be happy to return to Him.”
”O Angel! I bow my head
in shame, I had no time to take Allah’s name.
From morn till dusk I made
my wealth, not even caring for my health.”
”Allah’s commands I never
obeyed nor five times a day I ever prayed.
A Ramadan came and Ramadan went but no time had I to repent.”
”The Haj was already fard on me But I would
not part with my money.
All charities I did ignore taking usury more and more.”
All charities I did ignore taking usury more and more.”
”Sometimes I sipped my favorite wine with flirting women I sat to dine.
O Angel! I appeal to you spare my life for a year or two.”
”The Laws of Qur’an I will obey, I’ll begin Salat this very day.
My Fast and Haj, I will complete, and keep away from self conceit.”
”I will refrain from usury, and give all my wealth to charity, wine and
wenches I will detest, Allah’s oneness I will attest.”
”We Angels do what Allah demands,
we cannot go against His commands
Death is ordained
for everyone, father, mother, daughter or son.”
”I’m afraid, this moment
is your last, now be reminded, of your past.
I do understand your fears but it is now too late for tears.”
”You lived in this world, two score and
more, Never did you, your people adore.
Your parents, you did not
obey, hungry beggars, you turned away.”
”Your two ill-gotten,
female offsprings, in night-clubs, for livelihood
they sing.
Instead of making more Muslims, you made your children
Instead of making more Muslims, you made your children
non-Muslims.”
”You ignored the Mu’athin’s
Athaan, nor did you read the Holy Qur’an.
Breaking promises all your
life, backbiting friends, and causing strife.”
”From hoarded goods, great profits you
made, and your poor workers, you
underpaid. Horses and cards were
your leisure, money-making was your
pleasure.”
”You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
with the very sick, you never sat.
A pint of blood you never gave, which could a little baby save.”
A pint of blood you never gave, which could a little baby save.”
”O human, you have done enough wrong,
you bought good properties for a
song.
When the farmers appealed to you,
you did not have mercy, ‘tis true.”
”Paradise for you? I
cannot tell, undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.
There’s no time for you to repent,
I’ll take your soul for which I’m sent.”
The ending, however,
is very sad. Eventually the man became mad.
With a cry, he jumped
out of bed. And suddenly, he fell down dead.
O Reader! take a moral from here,
you never know, your end may be near.
Change your living and make amends, for heaven, on your deeds depends.
Change your living and make amends, for heaven, on your deeds depends.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I huffed and puffed....to no avail
11 November 2010, Thursday
WOW!!! It's been 11 days since I last posted something. That's a really long hiatus for me given that I make it a point to post on an almost daily basis.
These 11 days had actually been the longest days of my life. An acute chest infection had floored me and I was warded for 8 days at a private hospital.
Being hospitalized isn't something unusual to me, but this time it really took a toll on me. The infection seems extremely persistent and dogged and refused to desert me.
From the time I huffed and puffed at the A&E, I was given round the clock nebuliser and oxygen. And even on the day I was discharged (9 November 2011), I was still wheezing quite badly. As I had been harrassing my doctor persistently, he finally relented and discharged me.
I reckoned since it's gonna take a while before I'm fully recovered, I may as well wheeze at home, FOC!!!! My 8 days' stay had not only burnt a deep hole in my pocket, but I had missed home awfully.
Today, I'm well on the road to recovery, albeit slow, and what's wonderful, it's Home Sweet Home.
WOW!!! It's been 11 days since I last posted something. That's a really long hiatus for me given that I make it a point to post on an almost daily basis.
These 11 days had actually been the longest days of my life. An acute chest infection had floored me and I was warded for 8 days at a private hospital.
Being hospitalized isn't something unusual to me, but this time it really took a toll on me. The infection seems extremely persistent and dogged and refused to desert me.
From the time I huffed and puffed at the A&E, I was given round the clock nebuliser and oxygen. And even on the day I was discharged (9 November 2011), I was still wheezing quite badly. As I had been harrassing my doctor persistently, he finally relented and discharged me.
I reckoned since it's gonna take a while before I'm fully recovered, I may as well wheeze at home, FOC!!!! My 8 days' stay had not only burnt a deep hole in my pocket, but I had missed home awfully.
Today, I'm well on the road to recovery, albeit slow, and what's wonderful, it's Home Sweet Home.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
What are you to your.....
Enchantment?
What are you to your little bundle of joy?
Tenderness?
Adoration?
Fairytale?
Womb?
Warmth?
Love?
What are you to my broken heart?
Safe heaven?
Sanctuary?
Band aid?
Therapy?
Antidote?
Remedy?
Solace?
Tonic?
Pillar?What are you to your society and community?
Bastion?
Fortress?
Mainstay?
Reverence?
Admiration?
Rock of Gibraltar?
Ardor?What are you to me?
Refuge?
Passion?
Devotion?
Comy Bolster?
Commitment?
Sugar and Spice?
And Everything nice?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Living in a House Full of Love
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Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat....(As clever as the squirrel hops, it will one day, eat dirt)
Yesterday, during my English class, a student shared with me her anguish and torment. And when I heard it, not only was I troubled, I was stumped too. Words couldn't begin to describe my utter amazement.
She had thought that what she was going to share with me would only happen in movies, in dramas, on TV, or at the cinemas. Never in her wildest dream did she imagine it would happen to someone close to her, or that it would happen in real life.
What she related is truly sad and demonstrated the decline in values amongst youngsters these days. This heart-rending story is about her second cousin, who is from Semporna, Sabah.
This girl is a bright and intelligent student. After doing fairly well in her STPM and scoring in her MUET exam, she was accepted into one of the IPTAs to do Human Resources. She's now in her second year, which means next year, she is supposed to go up stage to receive her scroll, a piece of prized paper yearned by many, but not within everyone's means. Being bright and intelligent, she thought she may as well capitalize on this God-given blessings.
Despite getting a study loan from PTPN, she cajoled her poor parents into parting with their hard-earned income by lying to them that she needed the money to finance her assignments/projects outside of the university, which is in Perak.
Her parents who are in Semporna, Sabah live in poverty. Their house is dilapidated and they are surrounded by squalor. They work hard at their farm to support their huge family. And with their eldest child now in University and supposedly their beacon in future, they step-up their back-breaking toiling at the farm by doing odd jobs at the village to supplement their paltry income.
Apparently, this girl had no qualms lying through her teeth and cheating her parents of their hard-earned meager and measly income by demanding RM200 to RM500 a week to support her so-called assignments/projects. Her mum diligently sent money to her every week thinking how badly her daughter needed the money.
Two days ago, my student, who is listed as the girl's emergency contact received a call from the university. Utter shock couldn't begin to describe her agony and distress at that time. She went numb and limp upon receiving the call.
The girl, upon being admitted to the university, and for reasons only known to her, had changed her parents' correspondence address to that of her own so that no correspondence goes to her parents.
And, all along, the parents who had assumed that the girl was busy doing her assignments/projects and coursework, was even busier having a ball of her time at pubs and night clubs. That's where she whiled away her time, and that's where she spent all her parents' hard-earned money as well as her PTPN loan, and that's where her life would change dramatically and tragically.
As the Malay saying goes, "Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua" is apt and spot-on to describe her stupidity and frivolousness. “Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat…(which when translated means "As clever as the squirrel hops, it will, one day, eat dirt" is the Malay proverb which tells us that no matter how good and clever you are at wrongdoings, someday you’ll get caught for what you have done.
This scenario is fitting and appropriate to reflect her life. Her hey days at the pubs and night clubs where she was supposedly doing her assignments and projects and spending her parents' hard-earned paltry income came to a crushing and devastating end.
During one of her "drug-infused" and "busy-with-projects" merry-making and revelry at the pub, the police raided the place, and needless to say, she was caught, and tested positive for drugs.
If that is not shattering and devastating enough for my student, she was also told another heart-breaking piece of news by the University. The police is hot on her cousin's heel for a fraud case. It appears that she had forged some documents to enable her to buy a car, and to think this girl is only 21 years old!!!
And if this not bad enough, the girl was also caught for another crime, this time for breaking into her neighbour's house in Perak to steal money, for what I reckoned was to support her despicable drugs habits. And, all along, I thought only males (thousand apologies for this naive assumption) are capable of breaking into people's house!! Boy (no pun intended)!!! was I wrong!!!.
This truly depressing and tragic story brings to mind our roles as parents. Are we doing enough to monitor (especially when we we have to "release") our children to the outside world, far from the safe cocoons of our tender loving hands and care at home. Or, as parents, there is so much that we can do, and monitor.
Personally, I feel for the parents and my student, who is her cousin. My heart and soul goes to them. I grieve for them.
How can their daughter, who was supposed to be the beacon and the guiding light of the family, someone whom her parents had high hopes for, someone who was supposed to lift the family out of poverty and squalor, someone whom her community would regard as the symbol of hope and one they may be proud of, someone who was so naive and innocent at home turned out to be someone they hardly recognize anymore, someone who had betrayed their trust, someone who had deceived them, someone who had let the community and society down - how can it not be, when she had squandered her one precious chance of a tertiary education, that one spot at the university which is much-coveted and sought after by other deserving students!!!
And, what is especially sad is the stark fact that, not only had she destroyed her own future, she had also wrecked whatever glimmer of hope her parents and family had of her and their future....
She had thought that what she was going to share with me would only happen in movies, in dramas, on TV, or at the cinemas. Never in her wildest dream did she imagine it would happen to someone close to her, or that it would happen in real life.
What she related is truly sad and demonstrated the decline in values amongst youngsters these days. This heart-rending story is about her second cousin, who is from Semporna, Sabah.
This girl is a bright and intelligent student. After doing fairly well in her STPM and scoring in her MUET exam, she was accepted into one of the IPTAs to do Human Resources. She's now in her second year, which means next year, she is supposed to go up stage to receive her scroll, a piece of prized paper yearned by many, but not within everyone's means. Being bright and intelligent, she thought she may as well capitalize on this God-given blessings.
Despite getting a study loan from PTPN, she cajoled her poor parents into parting with their hard-earned income by lying to them that she needed the money to finance her assignments/projects outside of the university, which is in Perak.
Her parents who are in Semporna, Sabah live in poverty. Their house is dilapidated and they are surrounded by squalor. They work hard at their farm to support their huge family. And with their eldest child now in University and supposedly their beacon in future, they step-up their back-breaking toiling at the farm by doing odd jobs at the village to supplement their paltry income.
Apparently, this girl had no qualms lying through her teeth and cheating her parents of their hard-earned meager and measly income by demanding RM200 to RM500 a week to support her so-called assignments/projects. Her mum diligently sent money to her every week thinking how badly her daughter needed the money.
Two days ago, my student, who is listed as the girl's emergency contact received a call from the university. Utter shock couldn't begin to describe her agony and distress at that time. She went numb and limp upon receiving the call.
The girl, upon being admitted to the university, and for reasons only known to her, had changed her parents' correspondence address to that of her own so that no correspondence goes to her parents.
And, all along, the parents who had assumed that the girl was busy doing her assignments/projects and coursework, was even busier having a ball of her time at pubs and night clubs. That's where she whiled away her time, and that's where she spent all her parents' hard-earned money as well as her PTPN loan, and that's where her life would change dramatically and tragically.
As the Malay saying goes, "Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua" is apt and spot-on to describe her stupidity and frivolousness. “Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat…(which when translated means "As clever as the squirrel hops, it will, one day, eat dirt" is the Malay proverb which tells us that no matter how good and clever you are at wrongdoings, someday you’ll get caught for what you have done.
This scenario is fitting and appropriate to reflect her life. Her hey days at the pubs and night clubs where she was supposedly doing her assignments and projects and spending her parents' hard-earned paltry income came to a crushing and devastating end.
During one of her "drug-infused" and "busy-with-projects" merry-making and revelry at the pub, the police raided the place, and needless to say, she was caught, and tested positive for drugs.
If that is not shattering and devastating enough for my student, she was also told another heart-breaking piece of news by the University. The police is hot on her cousin's heel for a fraud case. It appears that she had forged some documents to enable her to buy a car, and to think this girl is only 21 years old!!!
And if this not bad enough, the girl was also caught for another crime, this time for breaking into her neighbour's house in Perak to steal money, for what I reckoned was to support her despicable drugs habits. And, all along, I thought only males (thousand apologies for this naive assumption) are capable of breaking into people's house!! Boy (no pun intended)!!! was I wrong!!!.
This truly depressing and tragic story brings to mind our roles as parents. Are we doing enough to monitor (especially when we we have to "release") our children to the outside world, far from the safe cocoons of our tender loving hands and care at home. Or, as parents, there is so much that we can do, and monitor.
Personally, I feel for the parents and my student, who is her cousin. My heart and soul goes to them. I grieve for them.
How can their daughter, who was supposed to be the beacon and the guiding light of the family, someone whom her parents had high hopes for, someone who was supposed to lift the family out of poverty and squalor, someone whom her community would regard as the symbol of hope and one they may be proud of, someone who was so naive and innocent at home turned out to be someone they hardly recognize anymore, someone who had betrayed their trust, someone who had deceived them, someone who had let the community and society down - how can it not be, when she had squandered her one precious chance of a tertiary education, that one spot at the university which is much-coveted and sought after by other deserving students!!!
And, what is especially sad is the stark fact that, not only had she destroyed her own future, she had also wrecked whatever glimmer of hope her parents and family had of her and their future....
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Hanya semalam
Di manakah aku
Aku tidak mengenali tempat ini
Ianya terlalu sejuk, beku dan kaku
Tempat ini terlalu bersih, hingar bingar dan riuh
Bagaimana orang mampu tidur di tempat ini
Baru semalam aku berada di rumah
Tolong kejutkan aku
Kenapakah aku berada di sini?
Aku tidak mampu mengingati apa-apapun
Ketakutan menghantui ku
Mak, Ayah..apakah yang telah terjadi padaku
Wajah kamu - oh... kenapa kamu tampak terlalu tua
Kenapa wajahmu tealh dimamah usia?
Hanya semalam kamu masih muda remaja
Di manakaah anak perempuanku? Aku menyapa seorang wanita
Dia kelihatan seperti aku kenali
"Akulah anakmu," dia menyahut
Oh...aku kebingungan
Hanya semalam - dia adalah seorang bayi
Apakah maksudmu bahawa dia sudah tiada lagi?
Hanya semalam aku berbual dan bermesra dengannya
Tolong...kenapakah aku tidak mampu bangun?
Tolong kejutkan diriku ini
Pasti, ini hanyalah suatu mimpi
Semuanya kelihatan pelik dan ganjil
Hanya semalam semuanya masuk akal
Rumahku - oh rumahku
Kenapa ia kelihatan ganjil
Oh...kenapa perabotnya kelihatan lain
Kenapa susunaturnya tidak sama
Apakah yang telah terjadi pada rumahku
Aku memasang penggera waktu
Untuk mengejutkanku dari mimpi ngeri ini
Oh..itu lah bunyi penggera untuk ku bangun
Tapi...kenapa aku masih tidak mampu bangun?
Adakah kehidupan ini suatu anugerah?
Adakah ianya suatu kurniaan?
Oh..biarkan aku terus tidur
Biarkakn aku lena dibuai mimpi
Pabila aku bangun
Pasti, ianya Hanya Semalam...
Aku tidak mengenali tempat ini
Ianya terlalu sejuk, beku dan kaku
Tempat ini terlalu bersih, hingar bingar dan riuh
Bagaimana orang mampu tidur di tempat ini
Baru semalam aku berada di rumah
Tolong kejutkan aku
Kenapakah aku berada di sini?
Aku tidak mampu mengingati apa-apapun
Ketakutan menghantui ku
Mak, Ayah..apakah yang telah terjadi padaku
Wajah kamu - oh... kenapa kamu tampak terlalu tua
Kenapa wajahmu tealh dimamah usia?
Hanya semalam kamu masih muda remaja
Di manakaah anak perempuanku? Aku menyapa seorang wanita
Dia kelihatan seperti aku kenali
"Akulah anakmu," dia menyahut
Oh...aku kebingungan
Hanya semalam - dia adalah seorang bayi
Apakah maksudmu bahawa dia sudah tiada lagi?
Hanya semalam aku berbual dan bermesra dengannya
Tolong...kenapakah aku tidak mampu bangun?
Tolong kejutkan diriku ini
Pasti, ini hanyalah suatu mimpi
Semuanya kelihatan pelik dan ganjil
Hanya semalam semuanya masuk akal
Rumahku - oh rumahku
Kenapa ia kelihatan ganjil
Oh...kenapa perabotnya kelihatan lain
Kenapa susunaturnya tidak sama
Apakah yang telah terjadi pada rumahku
Aku memasang penggera waktu
Untuk mengejutkanku dari mimpi ngeri ini
Oh..itu lah bunyi penggera untuk ku bangun
Tapi...kenapa aku masih tidak mampu bangun?
Adakah kehidupan ini suatu anugerah?
Adakah ianya suatu kurniaan?
Oh..biarkan aku terus tidur
Biarkakn aku lena dibuai mimpi
Pabila aku bangun
Pasti, ianya Hanya Semalam...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
All in a day's work for a Blogging and Facebooking Housewife
Today, I'm really swarmed with unfinished work!!! However that does not mean that I'm less busy on other days.
My day today began with offering my prayers to Allah. Soon after, I went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for my boys. Right after the boys have left the house (school and work), I began to prepare for lunch. As my husband is still away in Iran until early next week, it's just me and the boys.
Today, I am determined to cook early as there are just too many things on my plate. Despite a hectic schedule ahead of me, I managed to whip up Kari Kepala Ikan, Ikan Masak Sambal, Kerabu Kerang and Tauge, Sambal Belacan, Kentuck Fried Mushroom and Begadel Daging. Wow!!! What a huge array of food. Sometimes, when the cooking spirit overwhelms me, I will whip up several dishes to my heart's content. Alas, these days, very seldom am I overpowered by this spirit.....
Once I've cleaned up the kitchen, there was the laundry to be hung, and a few other household chores to be completed before I sat down to tackle my numerous tasks.
I'm in the midst of translating a PhD thesis for a relative. This is a tough one as I need to translate the text from Malay into English. There's 9 sections altogether and I've only completed up to Section 4 (Chapter 2). Each section is averagely 40 pages. It's no mean feat.
I've been breathing and inhaling this thesis for the last 6 weeks. I can't wait to complete this, despite translation being something I'm addicted to. I'm actually getting quite sick and tired as I have very little time to relax. These days, I don't even have time to watch the TV. The minute I hit the pillow, I'm immediately transported to lalaland!!!
And I also have to proofread a book which I translated a couple of months back for an overseas publisher, "You Can Be the Happiest Woman in the World". And this has to be done meticulously. Seldom am I the translator/Editor/Proofreader all rolled into one. But for this project, they have entrusted me with this responsibility.
Apart from these two major assignments, I also have to prepare a proposal for 3 Business English training that I need to conduct in November, namely Effective Communication - Beginner, Effective Communication - Intermediate and Effective Business Writing - Intermediate. The proposal covers the Class Schedule plus the Course Outline (up to press time, I've completed 2 of the Proposals) and need to fine-tune the last one before submitting them tomorrow.
These tasks are over and above my weekly classes at Glenmarie which I have to prepare beforehand and my twice a week English classes which I conduct at home.
And, today, I finally managed to make inroads into my enquiry for our (my husband and I) Umrah trip. We are slated to perform our Umrah in mid December, Insyallah.
Sometimes, I marvel at myself for managing to juggle my time wonderfully. Although I'm usually spent at the end of the day, I feel contented and happy that I can achieve so many things, and all these in a day's work for a Blogging and Facebooking Housewife!!!
My day today began with offering my prayers to Allah. Soon after, I went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for my boys. Right after the boys have left the house (school and work), I began to prepare for lunch. As my husband is still away in Iran until early next week, it's just me and the boys.
Today, I am determined to cook early as there are just too many things on my plate. Despite a hectic schedule ahead of me, I managed to whip up Kari Kepala Ikan, Ikan Masak Sambal, Kerabu Kerang and Tauge, Sambal Belacan, Kentuck Fried Mushroom and Begadel Daging. Wow!!! What a huge array of food. Sometimes, when the cooking spirit overwhelms me, I will whip up several dishes to my heart's content. Alas, these days, very seldom am I overpowered by this spirit.....
Once I've cleaned up the kitchen, there was the laundry to be hung, and a few other household chores to be completed before I sat down to tackle my numerous tasks.
I'm in the midst of translating a PhD thesis for a relative. This is a tough one as I need to translate the text from Malay into English. There's 9 sections altogether and I've only completed up to Section 4 (Chapter 2). Each section is averagely 40 pages. It's no mean feat.
I've been breathing and inhaling this thesis for the last 6 weeks. I can't wait to complete this, despite translation being something I'm addicted to. I'm actually getting quite sick and tired as I have very little time to relax. These days, I don't even have time to watch the TV. The minute I hit the pillow, I'm immediately transported to lalaland!!!
And I also have to proofread a book which I translated a couple of months back for an overseas publisher, "You Can Be the Happiest Woman in the World". And this has to be done meticulously. Seldom am I the translator/Editor/Proofreader all rolled into one. But for this project, they have entrusted me with this responsibility.
Apart from these two major assignments, I also have to prepare a proposal for 3 Business English training that I need to conduct in November, namely Effective Communication - Beginner, Effective Communication - Intermediate and Effective Business Writing - Intermediate. The proposal covers the Class Schedule plus the Course Outline (up to press time, I've completed 2 of the Proposals) and need to fine-tune the last one before submitting them tomorrow.
These tasks are over and above my weekly classes at Glenmarie which I have to prepare beforehand and my twice a week English classes which I conduct at home.
And, today, I finally managed to make inroads into my enquiry for our (my husband and I) Umrah trip. We are slated to perform our Umrah in mid December, Insyallah.
Sometimes, I marvel at myself for managing to juggle my time wonderfully. Although I'm usually spent at the end of the day, I feel contented and happy that I can achieve so many things, and all these in a day's work for a Blogging and Facebooking Housewife!!!
Doaku Harapanku
I expect to pass through this life but once.
Therefore, if there be any kindness I can show,
or good thing I can do for another human being,
let me do it now,
for I shall not pass this way again.
- William Penn
Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami
Therefore, if there be any kindness I can show,
or good thing I can do for another human being,
let me do it now,
for I shall not pass this way again.
- William Penn
Ya Allah Ya Tuhan kami
Jadikanlah kami hambaMu yang bertaqwa
Ampunkanlah dosa-dosa kami
Dan dosa-dosa kedua ibu bapa kami
Dan juga dosa semua umat Islam yang masih hidup
atau yang telah meninngal dunia
......... Amin
......... Amin
Ya Allah, doaku adalah supaya kami sekeluarga dilindungi olehMU
Doaku adalah supaya perkahwinanku dipelihara dan dikekalkan sehingga akhir hayat.
Doaku adalah supaya anak-anakku berjaya dalam apa jua yang mereka ceburi
dan ditetapkan iman mereka
dan dibuka hati mereka untuk mengerjakan segala suruhanMu
dan meninggalkan segala laranganMu.
Ya Allah, harapanku adalah supaya kami sekeluarga dimatikan dalam keimanan,
dipanjangkan umur,
dan dijauhkan dari segala azab sengasara dunia akhirat,
dijauhkan dari mahluk jahat, samada yang kecil atau yang besar
dan moga-moga kami dipelihara olehMU di dunia dan di akhirat.
Doaku adalah supaya perkahwinanku dipelihara dan dikekalkan sehingga akhir hayat.
Doaku adalah supaya anak-anakku berjaya dalam apa jua yang mereka ceburi
dan ditetapkan iman mereka
dan dibuka hati mereka untuk mengerjakan segala suruhanMu
dan meninggalkan segala laranganMu.
Ya Allah, harapanku adalah supaya kami sekeluarga dimatikan dalam keimanan,
dipanjangkan umur,
dan dijauhkan dari segala azab sengasara dunia akhirat,
dijauhkan dari mahluk jahat, samada yang kecil atau yang besar
dan moga-moga kami dipelihara olehMU di dunia dan di akhirat.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Exotic fruits...............
Different people have different tastes and likings for fruits. What's delicious or appealing to you may not be that appealing or palatable to me, or vice-versa. What's my definition of exotic fruits?
Top of my list is the King of Fruits - Durians.
Oh...durians are simply heavenly. The skin may be thorny but the taste..oh boy....it's a different story altogether.
And a close second is Rambutans,
followed by Mangosteens.
As far as I'm concerned, my idea of exotic fruits strictly revolves around tropical, fruits which can be easily and abundantly found in Malaysia, almost throughout the year.
Apart from these three fruits, I'm also passionate about the following luscious and mouth-watering fruits:
Langsat
Duku langsat
Dokong
Longan or Mata Kuching
Jack fruit
Guava
Cempedak
Pulasan
Kedondong
Jambu Air
Rambai
Pomelo
Delima
Dragonfruit or Nuah Naga (Pitaya)
Banana (especially Pisang Rastali)
Pisang kaki
Passionfruits or Buah Susu
When I was growing up, in the early days when I was still residing in Singapore, we used to eat plenty of oranges and apples. Alas, I find these two fruits the most unappealing. They used to be dirt cheap in Singapore. Those days, in the 70's, for S$1, you can get 15-20 apples or oranges!!! Today, an apple can cost you RM1. Those were the days.
Exotic fruits...hmmmmm...the above fruits fit to a T and match my billing of what is meant by Exotic Fruits!!!
Top of my list is the King of Fruits - Durians.
Oh...durians are simply heavenly. The skin may be thorny but the taste..oh boy....it's a different story altogether.
And a close second is Rambutans,
followed by Mangosteens.
As far as I'm concerned, my idea of exotic fruits strictly revolves around tropical, fruits which can be easily and abundantly found in Malaysia, almost throughout the year.
Apart from these three fruits, I'm also passionate about the following luscious and mouth-watering fruits:
Langsat
Duku langsat
Dokong
Longan or Mata Kuching
Jack fruit
Guava
Cempedak
Pulasan
Kedondong
Jambu Air
Rambai
Pomelo
Delima
Dragonfruit or Nuah Naga (Pitaya)
Pisang kaki
Passionfruits or Buah Susu
When I was growing up, in the early days when I was still residing in Singapore, we used to eat plenty of oranges and apples. Alas, I find these two fruits the most unappealing. They used to be dirt cheap in Singapore. Those days, in the 70's, for S$1, you can get 15-20 apples or oranges!!! Today, an apple can cost you RM1. Those were the days.
Exotic fruits...hmmmmm...the above fruits fit to a T and match my billing of what is meant by Exotic Fruits!!!
Stop and smell the roses
25 October 2010, Monday
Hey Wan
Where you going in such a hurry?
Don't you think it's time you realized
There's a whole lot more to life than work and worry
The sweetest things in life are free
And there right before your eyes
You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way
Before you went to work this morning in the city
Did you spend some time with your family?
Did you kiss your husband and tell him that he's lovely
Did you hug your children to your breast and love them tenderly
You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way
Did you ever take a walk through the forest
Stop and dream a while among the trees
Well you can look up through the leaves right straight to heaven
You can almost hear the voice of God
In each any every breeze
You got to Stop and Smell the Roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the Roses along the way
You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way
Wan, you're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
Hey Wan
Where you going in such a hurry?
Don't you think it's time you realized
There's a whole lot more to life than work and worry
The sweetest things in life are free
And there right before your eyes
You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way
Before you went to work this morning in the city
Did you spend some time with your family?
Did you kiss your husband and tell him that he's lovely
Did you hug your children to your breast and love them tenderly
You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way
Did you ever take a walk through the forest
Stop and dream a while among the trees
Well you can look up through the leaves right straight to heaven
You can almost hear the voice of God
In each any every breeze
You got to Stop and Smell the Roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the Roses along the way
You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way
Wan, you're only here for a short visit. Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Nukilan hati yang sepi
23 October 2010, Saturday, 9:54 p.m
Sedih dan sayu hati ini
Pabila kau mengatur langkah
meninggalkan kami
Tatkala kau mengucup dahiku
Dan aku mencium tanganmu
Air mataku mengalir tanpa disedari
Ketiadaanmu pasti ku rindui
Lantas ku akan menghitung hari
Menanti dan terus menanti
Detik kita bersatu kembali
Ku menyusun sepuluh jari
Memohon kesejahteraanmu dari Ilahi
Ya Allah Ya Rabbi
Selamatkanlah perjalananmu nanti
Agar selamat pergi dan selamat kembali
Ya Allah, Ya Rabbulalamin
Tabahkanlah hati
HambaMu yang kerdil ini
WanKinsella@Lubukhatiku. 23 October 2010, 10:19 p.m
Sedih dan sayu hati ini
Pabila kau mengatur langkah
meninggalkan kami
Tatkala kau mengucup dahiku
Dan aku mencium tanganmu
Air mataku mengalir tanpa disedari
Ketiadaanmu pasti ku rindui
Lantas ku akan menghitung hari
Menanti dan terus menanti
Detik kita bersatu kembali
Ku menyusun sepuluh jari
Memohon kesejahteraanmu dari Ilahi
Ya Allah Ya Rabbi
Selamatkanlah perjalananmu nanti
Agar selamat pergi dan selamat kembali
Ya Allah, Ya Rabbulalamin
Tabahkanlah hati
HambaMu yang kerdil ini
WanKinsella@Lubukhatiku. 23 October 2010, 10:19 p.m
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?
19 October 2010, Tuesday
This was what I wrote on the morning of my birthday, but never got to complete it. Little that I know that the melancholy and despondency that I was feeling that morning was an ominous sign. I had a sense of foreboding that something terrible was going to happen, but had dismissed the feeling. It was my birthday, so I was supposed to be happy and rejoicing and be thankful to Allah for granting me another grace period. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of apprehension and dread.
16 October 2010, Saturday
"Sejuknya hati ini mendengar sayup2 bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang berkumandang di corong pembesar suara dari Surau As-Syakirin yang menghadap rumahku.
Terubat sedikit hati ini yang merasa sayu pada hari kelahiranku. Hari ini usiaku menjangkau 51 tahun. Aku tidak tahu mengapa pagi ini hatiku merasa amat syahdu. Malahan, air mata mengalir tanpa ku sedari.
Dengan jejeran air yang membasahi pipiku, fikiranku melayang lantas memikirkan bahawa sejak dua tahun yang lalu, aku telah menjadi anak yatim piatu setelah kehilangan ayahnda tercinta pada tanggal 12 Disember 2008. Aku menjadi anak yatim semasa ibu pergi meninggalkanku 10 tahun yang lalu pada 23 Ogos 2000.
Dan setahun yang lalu, dua hari sebelum umat Islam seronok menyambut lebaran, ibu mertuaku pula pergi meninggalkan kami menyambut panggilan Ilahi. Yang kini tinggal hanyalah ayah mertuaku yang telah dimamah usia, yang kini hanya duduk di kerusi roda tanpa banyak bicara.
Usianya yang melebihi 87 tahun telah mengurangkan daya ingatannya. Dia tidak lagi seperti dulu. Dia tidak lagi seceria bapa yang kukenali semasa awal perkahwinanku. Dia amat menyayangi anak-anaknya, menantu-menantunya dan cucu-cucunya. Kini, dia tidak lagi mengenali kami. Namun, sekali sekala, kami mendengar teriakannya memanggil nama suamiku (Amir) dan "Sayang", panggilan manjanya untuk arwah ibu mertuaku.
Malahan, dia langsung tidak menunjukkan sebarang rekasi semasa duduk di sebelah katil hospital ibu mertuaku tatkala ibu tenat dan nazak, meskipuun tangannya merangkul erat dan mengusap jari jemari ibu mertuaku. Semasa ibu mertuaku dikafankan dan sebelum ditutup mukanya buat kali terkahir, dia masih tidak mengetahui bahawa mayat yang terbujur kaku itu adalah isterinya, isteri yang amat dicintainya.
Saban hari, bapa mertuaku hanya bersandar di kerusi roda dan termenung. Dia sekadar menunggu dan menunggu.
Aku masih mengelamun. Teringat apakah masih ada hari esok buatku setelah mengecapi 51 tahun hidup di dunia ini. Adakah memadai ilmu di dada ini untuk meniti masa hadapan yang lebih getir lagi? Adakah aku telah bersedia menghadapi alam barzakh? Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?
Adakah aku sudah bersedia? Ya Allah, betapa takutnya aku menghadapi kematian tanpa bekalan takwa ...
Lamunanku terhenti. Tersentak hatiku yang jauh mengelamun apabila terdengar suamiku menyapa "Sayang, get ready. We'll leave by 12 coz the place (where we were going for my birthday lunch) will be packed if we don't go early."
This was what I wrote on the morning of my birthday, but never got to complete it. Little that I know that the melancholy and despondency that I was feeling that morning was an ominous sign. I had a sense of foreboding that something terrible was going to happen, but had dismissed the feeling. It was my birthday, so I was supposed to be happy and rejoicing and be thankful to Allah for granting me another grace period. But I couldn't shake off the feeling of apprehension and dread.
16 October 2010, Saturday
"Sejuknya hati ini mendengar sayup2 bacaan ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang berkumandang di corong pembesar suara dari Surau As-Syakirin yang menghadap rumahku.
Terubat sedikit hati ini yang merasa sayu pada hari kelahiranku. Hari ini usiaku menjangkau 51 tahun. Aku tidak tahu mengapa pagi ini hatiku merasa amat syahdu. Malahan, air mata mengalir tanpa ku sedari.
Dengan jejeran air yang membasahi pipiku, fikiranku melayang lantas memikirkan bahawa sejak dua tahun yang lalu, aku telah menjadi anak yatim piatu setelah kehilangan ayahnda tercinta pada tanggal 12 Disember 2008. Aku menjadi anak yatim semasa ibu pergi meninggalkanku 10 tahun yang lalu pada 23 Ogos 2000.
Dan setahun yang lalu, dua hari sebelum umat Islam seronok menyambut lebaran, ibu mertuaku pula pergi meninggalkan kami menyambut panggilan Ilahi. Yang kini tinggal hanyalah ayah mertuaku yang telah dimamah usia, yang kini hanya duduk di kerusi roda tanpa banyak bicara.
Usianya yang melebihi 87 tahun telah mengurangkan daya ingatannya. Dia tidak lagi seperti dulu. Dia tidak lagi seceria bapa yang kukenali semasa awal perkahwinanku. Dia amat menyayangi anak-anaknya, menantu-menantunya dan cucu-cucunya. Kini, dia tidak lagi mengenali kami. Namun, sekali sekala, kami mendengar teriakannya memanggil nama suamiku (Amir) dan "Sayang", panggilan manjanya untuk arwah ibu mertuaku.
Malahan, dia langsung tidak menunjukkan sebarang rekasi semasa duduk di sebelah katil hospital ibu mertuaku tatkala ibu tenat dan nazak, meskipuun tangannya merangkul erat dan mengusap jari jemari ibu mertuaku. Semasa ibu mertuaku dikafankan dan sebelum ditutup mukanya buat kali terkahir, dia masih tidak mengetahui bahawa mayat yang terbujur kaku itu adalah isterinya, isteri yang amat dicintainya.
Saban hari, bapa mertuaku hanya bersandar di kerusi roda dan termenung. Dia sekadar menunggu dan menunggu.
Aku masih mengelamun. Teringat apakah masih ada hari esok buatku setelah mengecapi 51 tahun hidup di dunia ini. Adakah memadai ilmu di dada ini untuk meniti masa hadapan yang lebih getir lagi? Adakah aku telah bersedia menghadapi alam barzakh? Apakah aku telah mentazkirahkan hati yang alpa dan minda yang tercela sebelum dijemput Ilahi?
Adakah aku sudah bersedia? Ya Allah, betapa takutnya aku menghadapi kematian tanpa bekalan takwa ...
Lamunanku terhenti. Tersentak hatiku yang jauh mengelamun apabila terdengar suamiku menyapa "Sayang, get ready. We'll leave by 12 coz the place (where we were going for my birthday lunch) will be packed if we don't go early."
Friday, October 15, 2010
The Present
15 October 2010, Friday
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!!
Each of us has such a bank. It is called TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health,
happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.
And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!!
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!!
Each of us has such a bank. It is called TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health,
happiness, and success! The clock is running. Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.
And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!!
͂ Value has a value only if its value is valued ͂
15 October 2010, Friday
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.You must understand that and strive for it.
Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest.
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit - are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same.You must understand that and strive for it.
Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest.
Value has a value only if its valued.
- Bryan Dyson, Former CEO of Coca Cola -
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Stop wallowing in self pity!!!
14 October 2010, Thursday
~ The truth is that our finest moments
are most likely to occur when we are feeling
deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.
For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort,
that we are likely to step out of our ruts
and start searching for different ways or truer answers. ~
So, old girl, get going, start moving. And stop wallowing in self pity!!!
The cry of my heart...
14 October 2010, Thursday
"Be careful if you make a woman cry, because Allah s.w.t counts her tears. A woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior over, but from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
"Be careful if you make a woman cry, because Allah s.w.t counts her tears. A woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior over, but from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
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