"Boring. Bosan. Boring. Bosan. Boring. Bosan. Boring. Bosan. Boring. Bosan. Wish I'm some place else."
That was what I had posted on my Facebook wall three days ago (12 June 2011). Last Sunday, I had to attend a compulsory Syariah training course. Being a stickler for punctuality, I had told my son that I wanted to be there 30 minutes before the course began. So I was at Sime Darby Convention Centre well ahead of time.
Upon reaching SDCC, I was surprised that there was already a huge turnout of consultants. After registering at the "U - Z" counter, I went into the ballroom to take my seat.
And just after 9:00 a.m. there began a two-torturous hour as the first speaker took stage. I had expected someone of his experience and stature to have a more commanding oratorical skill. But I was several tad disappointed, so were the others. Everyone was silent and was stony-faced throughout the two-hour ordeal.
After I had posted my frustration on FB, someone had responded to this hilarious posting:
I, and I'm sure a majority of the 800 + participants would not have minded this bloke's session had it been well presented. He was not only exceedingly boring, but he was practically reading entirely from his text. And if he was reading like a presentable news reader, it wouldn't have been so bad. He was actually droning like a bee. The sound was so annoying that if I had it my way, I would have walked out of the SDCC ballroom.
To add salt to the wound, his English left very much to be desired. It was riddled with atrocious and horrendous errors. What amused me greatly was how he had pronounced the letter 'W'. You'd not believe it till you hear him say it. It was really hilarious. 'W' was pronounced as 'doubt liew'. I doubt he knew who Liew was!!!
And if this was not bad enough, I have this annoyingly and irritatingly dreadful and appaling habit. If a speaker's English is riddled with grammatical errors with horrifying pronunciation, I would be 'mentally' correcting him/her like a good English teacher would....Ha.ha.ha.ha... The perils of being an English teacher.
I had picked up this abysmal habit since I was in college. I'm not really sure how it had started but each time I listen to someone talking or making a presentation, and if I find that the English is peppered or punctuated with errors, I would be occupied (mentally) with the task of correcting them and would not be paying attention to whatever they're presenting. And I find this habit exasperating and maddening.
And speaking of listening, I was greatly amused when that speaker asked the audience, "Can you listen to me?" He had actually wanted to check whether the audience who was seated at the back of the ballroom could hear him. Sometimes it makes me laugh when people can't differentiate between the word "listen" and "hear." Oh boy!!!
Some of the words he pronounced and sentences/phrases he used had me clutching my mouth in horror. "Sesshion" for session. "Becaush" for because. "We'll be marking your attendant to make sure you guys are intact!" "I wish to reiterate you that..." "In consideration of the customer purchased..." and many more ghastly errors.
Well, speaker dear. I only have this to say to you. "I wish to reiterate to you that if I'm your attendant, and in consideration of the customer purchasing the ticket to your seminar, I'll make sure your English is intact becaush your sesshion #@%&%*#"!!!