Bapak, my father-in-law

10 February 2010, Wednesday

Mak, ayah, last week Amir (your son-in-law) and I went to visit bapak (my father-in-law). Somehow, this visit was different. I felt bapak seemed really sad, he looked really folorn, despondent and dejected.

And despite Amir feeding him lunch yesterday, he seemed lost in a world of his own. And he didn't even eat very much, he ate like a bird.

When I looked at him, it brought tears to my eyes. This was the man who used to be very strong, this was my father-in-law who used to be very concerned about my welfare. This was the father who used to fuss over his 3 children (Amir, Tini and Hanafi). This was the husband who used to love his wife so very much.

Bapak used to take the trouble to pluck giant mangoes from his house compound in Tanjung Bungah, Penang, packed them lovingly in a box and sent them to us in KL via train.

He used to do that at least twice a month. And when I was pregnant, he would also send via parcel, asam boi (sour tidbits) which he would buy from the sinseh shop as he reckoned I would love to eat sour stuff during my pregnancies.

And everytime we went back to Penang, and upon arrival, he would drive us to Balik Pulau to buy the best durians as he knew both Amir and I and the kids would drool over durians.

And without fail, he would buy tons of yummy foodstuff for us to savour, food like apam manis, pulut inti, pasembur, tokua goreng, ais kacang, nasi beriyani, murtabak, just to name some of the delectable dishes you can find in the Pearl of the Orient, as what Penang is famously known as.

And when we visited him last week, he looked many shades of his old self. He simply couldn't remember my name but commented that I'm Amir's wife. Amazingly, and without fail, he'd remember Amir's name.

Mak, Ayah, I felt very sad when I looked at Bapak. It tugged my heart to look at him in this condition. It brought back memories of my time with you, Mak, Ayah, and Mak (my mother-in-law). Time seemed to zoom by.

I felt it was only yesterday that all of you were still around, spending time with your kids and grand children. I missed you Mak, Ayah, and Mak. And I coudn't bear to look at Bapak when we bade him goodbye. He was near to tears as I salam and kissed his hands, and as Amir hugged and kissed him.

Bapak, I couldn't bear the look on your weather-beaten, wrinkled, depressing, and heart-rending face as you turned and stared at us, as we began to leave you. Your dejected and forlorn look would haunt me for a very long time. Bapak, we love you very much. Mak, Ayah, Mak, we missed you so very much.